Sexual Research

In the world of sexual research, some experts like to compare men to a light switch: It doesn't take a whole lot of effort to turn them on. Women, by contrast, supposedly have as many gears and dials as the control panel of an airplane, all needing to be synchronized before liftoff.

The analogy may seem pretty simplistic, and even insulting to men. But some researchers say the complexity of women does explain one thing: why there isn't a female equivalent of Viagra -- an all-purpose, sexual-dysfunction-buster. "It's more complex," said Lori Futterman, a specialist in female sexual dysfunction. "Rather than just giving a Viagra, which increases blood flow, we're talking about balancing the whole system."

Women's sexuality has been in the news this month since a Food and Drug Administration panel rejected Procter & Gamble's bid to market the first prescription drug for female sexual dysfunction. Other companies, sensing a possible multibillion-dollar market, are working on similar drugs.

Overall, an estimated 40 percent of women suffer from sexual dysfunction. The wide majority of them -- 85 percent -- have trouble developing desire for sex in the first place. About 10 percent can't get turned on, and an estimated 5 percent can't have orgasms, said Futterman, an assistant professor of psychiatry at the University of California at San Diego.

According to researchers and sex counselors, treatment is challenging because much of women's sexuality takes place above the neck instead of below the waist. "They need to have some type of emotion, some type of caring shown to them," said Rutgers University professor emeritus Beverly Whipple, a neurophysiologist who named and popularized the G spot. "They don't just have a spot rubbed and have an orgasm."

Then again, experts used to think that men's sexual problems were mental: They blamed almost all cases of impotence on psychological factors instead of problems with the male plumbing system. But along came Viagra and its imitators, and millions of men suddenly began having erections again without needing to visit a shrink.

Researchers don't expect a similar turnaround for women, even though Viagra does seem to help some female patients, especially those who are on antidepressants that dampen sexual response. Viagra boosts erections by allowing more blood flow to the penis; circulation problems contribute to women's conditions, too, but at a much smaller level, perhaps affecting just one in 20 women with problems, said Dr. Kate O'Hanlan, a gynecologic cancer surgeon in Northern California.

"Women don't get hardening of the arteries like men do, and women don't have difficulty with orgasms for the same reasons men do," O'Hanlan said. "That's why there's a pill for men."

Sex pill

Cure in a Pill?
Even so, drug companies — banking on the success of Viagra — hope to find its female equivalent. At the moment, they are focused on developing a drug that increases blood flow to the female genitals, resulting in vaginal lubrication and relaxing vaginal muscles.

The concept is similar to Viagra, which increases blood flow to the penis, resulting in an erection. So far, there are some promising drugs on the horizon. These include prostaglandin, already approved for men, apomorphine and phentolamine, both of which are being tested for arousal disorder in women.

Whether drug companies succeed, the good news is that women needn't wait for a sex pill. They have options. Research shows that exercise, counseling, vaginal lubrication products and sex videos all can help put spur a woman's libido.

What's more, the three following options — while scientifically unproven — are readily available and also hold the promise for improving a woman's sex life.

• L-arginine amino acid cream
  The same amino acid that has been used by athletes to promote muscle development is purported to increase blood flow to the female genitals, thus sparking sexual urges. "Our informal studies on 500 patients showed that 70 percent of women who applied this cream to the clitoris and labia a half hour before sex reported more arousal and stronger orgasms," says Dr. Jed Kaminetsky, clinical assistant professor of urology at the New York School of Medicine.
• DHEA
  Dehydroepiandrosterone is a male hormone produced by the adrenal gland and ovaries and converted to testosterone and estrogen. DHEA, which depletes with age, can be purchased over the counter in supplement form.In one small study published in the New England Journal of Medicine (Sept. 30, 1999), women who took 50 mg of DHEA daily noticed a significant increase in sexual interest. Other preliminary findings report encouraging results. However, most DHEA products lining the store shelves recommend taking only 25 mg per day. Because of its potential for heart attacks and breast cancer and masculating side-effects such as facial hair, DHEA is best used under a doctor's supervision.
• Testosterone therapy
  For women who have undergone oophorectomy (the removal of one or both ovaries) and hysterectomy, testosterone treatment has shown to improve sexual function and psychological well being, according to recent research from Boston's Massachusetts General Hospital.

  However, women looking to boost testosterone levels should work with their physician closely so the hormone can be monitored. Too much of it can cause, among other things, facial hair and change a women's voice, which is irreversible. Meanwhile, a study looking at the combination of L-arginine glutamate and yohimbine — a natural extract from tree bark that excites part of the central nervous system — has shown that postmenopausal women were more than twice as aroused after taking the combination drug and viewing an erotic film than women who took a placebo.

Search for a female viagra

Two years after Viagra stormed the market and revived erections for millions of men, many women are asking if a women's Viagra exists as a solution to their sex life. Is there a Viagra for women?

The short answer is no — at least not yet. But that could change within the next two or three years as drug companies and researchers race to develop a libido enhancer for a very large — and underserved — market.

Just how large? Some 43 percent of women suffer with sexual dysfunction, compared to 31 percent of men, according to University of Chicago researcher Dr. Edward Laumann. And some $2 to $3 billion will be spent within the next ten years on products aimed at improving the sex lives of these women.

The Drivers of Female Sexual Dysfunction
Female sexual dysfunction is characterized by a lack of desire, arousal and orgasm. Lack of desire is the chief complaint among women, affecting about one-third of them at some point in their lives, says Cindy Meston, assistant professor of clinical psychology at the University of Texas at Austin.

The Cause?
A woman's lack of sexual interest is often tied to her relationship with her partner, says Sandra Lieblum, director for sexual and marital health at the UMDNJ Robert Wood Johnson Medical School in Piscataway, N.J. "The important sex organ [for women] is between the ears. Men need a place for having sex — women need a purpose," she says. But it can also be triggered by family concerns, illness or death, financial or job worries, childcare responsibilities, managing a career and children, previous or current physical and emotional abuse, fatigue and depression.

Indeed, female sexual dysfunction seems to be psychologically — rather than physically — rooted. "What the genitals are doing may play a less important role in how a woman defines her sexual arousal," says Meston. "I don't think there will ever be an aphrodisiac that will make [women] want to have sex all the time."

That's not to say its causes aren't physical, Lieblum says. Hypertension, heart disease, cancer, diabetes, thyroid disorders, neurological diseases and autoimmune disorders like lupus can all contribute to a woman's lack of sexual desire. Other factors include prescriptions drugs, particularly anti-hypertensives and depression medication, as well as over-the-counter medications and illegal drugs and alcohol abuse.

Why Not Viagra?
Viagra is designed to increase blood flow to the genitals. Viagra works well for many men who suffer with impotence — or erectile dysfunction — because it's considered a physical — rather than an emotional — problem. That's not to say that Viagra can't "restore function" for women, says Dr. Myron Murdoch, clinical instructor of urology at George Washington Medical School. It can, but it's not for all women.

While Viagra-like drugs may help the 20 percent of women reported to have difficulties with lubrication (blood flow to the female genitals increase lubrication), it's unknown to what degree such drugs would help the 43 percent of women with sexual dysfunction who either say they're uninterested in sex or that sex provides little pleasure.

Satisfaction

Even in the most sexually liberated and self-satisfied of nations, many people still yearn to burn more, to feel ready for bedding no matter what the clock says and to desire their partner of 23 years as much as they did when their love was brand new.

The market is saturated with books on how to revive a flagging libido or spice up monotonous sex, and sex therapists say “lack of desire” is one of the most common complaints they hear from patients, particularly women.

And though there may be legitimate sociological or personal underpinnings to that diminished desire — chronic overwork and stress, a hostile workplace, a slovenly or unsupportive spouse — still the age-old search continues for a simple chemical fix, Cupid encapsulated, a thrill in a pill.

Since the spectacular success of Viagra and similar drugs, the pharmaceutical industry has been searching for the female equivalent of Viagra — a treatment that would do for women’s most common sexual complaint, lack of desire, what sildenafil did for men’s, erectile dysfunction.

Initial trials of Viagra in women proved highly disappointing. True, the drug enhanced engorgement of vaginal tissue, just as it had of the penis, but that extra bit of pelvic swelling did nothing to amplify women’s desire for or enjoyment of sex.

What is needed for the treatment of so-called female hypoactive sexual desire disorder, researchers decided, is a reasonably safe and effective drug that acts on the central nervous system, on the pleasure centers of the brain or the sensory circuitry that serves them.

For a while, many sex therapists and doctors were optimistic about Procter & Gamble’s Intrinsa, a testosterone patch that delivers small transdermal pulses of the sex hormone thought to play a crucial if poorly understood role in male and female libido alike. But in 2005, the Food and Drug Administration refused to approve Intrinsa, declaring that its medical risks outweighed whatever modest and spotty benefits it might offer.

More recently, another potentially promising treatment for hypoactive desire has been making its way through clinical trials. The compound, called bremelanotide, is a synthetic version of a hormone involved in skin pigmentation, and it was initially developed by Palatin Technologies of New Jersey as a potential tanning agent to help prevent skin cancer. But when male college students participating in early safety tests began reporting that the drug sometimes gave them erections, the company began exploring bremelanotide’s utility as a treatment for sexual disorders.

Studies in rodents demonstrated that the drug not only gave male rats spontaneous erections, but also fomented sexual excitement in female rats, prompting them to wiggle their ears, hop excitedly, rub noses with males and otherwise display unmistakable hallmarks of rodent arousal.

Importantly, the females responded to the drug only under laboratory conditions where they could maintain a sense of control over the mating game. Take away the female’s opportunity to escape or proceed at her preferred pace, and no amount of bremelanotide would get those ears to wiggle. In other words, Annette M. Shadiack, director of biological research of Palatin, said, “this doesn’t look like a potential date-rape drug.”

Inspired by the rodent work, the company decided to give the drug a whirl on women. Results from a pilot study of 26 postmenopausal women with diagnoses of sexual arousal disorder suggest that bremelanotide may well have some mild aphrodisiacal properties.

Responding to questionnaires after taking either the drug or a dummy pill, 73 percent of the women on bremelanotide reported feeling genitally aroused, compared with 23 percent given the placebo; and 43 percent of the bremelanotide group said the treatment augmented their sexual desire, against only 19 percent of those on dummy pills.

Women in the treatment group also were slightly more likely to have sex with their partners during the course of the trial than were those in the control group, although who initiated the romps was not specified.

Larger trials of the drug at some 20 clinical centers around the United States are now under way. Among other things, the researchers will try adjusting the dosage to see if more bremelanotide may provoke a more robust response with a minimum of unpleasant or embarrassing side effects.

For example, researchers are as yet unsure whether sustained use of bremelanotide will end up doing what the drug was meant to do in the first place, and bestow on its beaming clients a truly healthy tan.

Lubrication is fact of life

Lubrication is a fact of life. In any relationship where working parts are at play, whether it be an engine, a dinner party or an evening of love, everything works better when it is well oiled. Lubrication allows for glide, ease and effectiveness. When lubrication is working well, it is invisible, a thought we don't have. When it isn't working, we know it immediately, although not always by its name. An engine without oil locks up in minutes, awkward silence and uncomfortable gazing down into the lap is immediately recognizable.

Lacking lubrication in intimacy can take on multiple forms and occur for a myriad of reasons. Age, childbearing and nursing and some medications are often the cause of vaginal dryness and its associated pain in sex. Often this physiological issue is accompanied by a lack of sexual drive because our natural lubrication also acts as a sign that we are aroused. I remember in my teens and twenties when vaginal wetness was a fact of life and arousal happened sometimes without even noticing it. Those body memories are stored deep in our psyche, and the good news is that triggering them can be as easy as finding the right lubrication.

Largely, the variety of lubricants on the market break down into three main categories; water-based, silicone-based, and oil-based. Each category has its benefits and weaknesses and it’s important to be informed about the health and environmental consequences associated with different product ingredients, because after all, you’re putting them in and on sensitive areas.

Water-based lubes are by far the most popular category because they are most often recommended by physicians and are latex compatible (you can use them safely with condoms). However, because of their chosen ingredient base, which includes petrochemicals, many women experience continuous irritation, burning and infection. Propylene glycol, also found in anti-freeze and brake fluid, Polyethylene glycol, an ingredient in oven cleaner and preservatives methyl and propyl-parabens are all common in lube formulations. The Campaign for Safe Cosmetics - a research advocate arm of the Breast Cancer Fund, has recently identified parabens as potentially carcinogenic and is working to stop their usage in all personal care products. Parabens are used as preservatives and are also associated with skin irritation.

Another popular ingredient of water-based lubricants is vegetable glycerin. There is some debate about glycerin- on the plus side, it is a great anti-bacterial agent and does provide a certain glide, but in large volumes has a tendency to inflame yeast problems and usually ends up very sticky and overly sweet. Oh My is a great company to check out for a wide variety of fun packaging, flavors and ingredients in water-based lubricants. They have done their homework and provide a lot of interesting information on their site.

Silicone-based lubricants are enjoyed by many, with great response. Silicone provides excellent smooth and long-lasting glide. However, silicone carries its own risks and inconveniences including the strong chemical scent and taste, stains sheets and does not wash off sensitive tissue without a hearty scrub with soap and water. In this group the product that tops the list is Pjur silicone lubricant from Germany. If I were to use a silicone lubricant- this would be the one I would choose first.

Natural oil-based lubricants offer a sensuous and aromatic choice for individuals who are either allergic to latex or have other birth control methods. Love oils and butters gave me my first really positive and healing sex experience and helped me launch my business in natural love products. The use of olive oil and coconut oil as lubricants is ages old, and for good reason. Another good company to look into here would be firefly.com.

I have researched product chemistry and believe that many intimacy products suffer from a serious lack of imagination. Our company in conjunction with a research lab in Wyoming applied ourselves to finding an alternative and thanks to healthy collective questioning and a faith in natural products, we came up with an all-natural lubricant made with aloe vera, xanthan gum, agar-agar and a three tiered preservative system including less than 10% vegetable glycerin, benzoic acid and a naturally activated enzymatic formula which continuously preserves in the bottle. We create our fragrance and flavor with infusions of whole flowers and herbs. All in all, I really don’t think you can get a cleaner, fresher lube. I guarantee it will take twenty years off your sex drive…

Women and sex: top 10 worries

Everyone worries about sex. Are you doing it right? What if your body's not supermodel-standard? Why doesn't sex feel as good as it should? We go under the covers to try and solve the top ten sex worries for women.

1. What if he doesn't like my body?

With often unattainable superbods gracing mags and media, body image has a lot to answer for and can affect your ability to enjoy sex. What's important to remember is that whatever your body shape is, your partner will be more bothered about whether you're having a good time than about your allegedly wobbly thighs or skinny arms. He's probably not perfect either but if you both relax, the sex will follow suit.

2. I'm worried about getting pregnant

Getting pregnant or catching a sexually transmitted infection (STI) are two common fears, but by using a condom your chances of either are greatly reduced. The male condom is 98% effective (when used properly). Remember to check the condom after you've had sex - if you think it has split, you may need to take the emergency contraceptive pill. Advice is also available from the Family Planning Association, Brook, or your GP (doctor).

3. I can't orgasm during sex

Sex and relationship psychologist, Dr Petra Boynton, points out that 80% of women don't orgasm through (penetrative) sex. But as films often show women coming after a few minutes of thrusting, it's easy to see why it looks like the norm. What can work is stimulation of the clitoris, so experiment by masturbating on your own then touching (and asking him to touch) your clitoris during sex. Top tip from Dr Boynton is to go on top if you want to increase your chances of having an orgasm during sex.

4. Isn't sex supposed to be amazing?

Sex is about a lot more than just penetration, so if that's all you're doing, it might not feel as 'amazing' as you expected it to. Having sex is also about kissing, touching, stroking, talking, and lots of clitoral stimulation. If your partner stops doing these things after a few minutes or isn't particularly skilled, show him what you like (which he will probably find a turn-on in itself). As Dr Boynton says, don't think of 'foreplay' and 'sex' as two separate things - they're part and parcel of the same act.

5. I'm not sure I'm ready

It's normal to feel a bit unsure about having sex, and if you're having doubts but feel like you should do it to keep him happy, it's definitely not the right time. In fact, if he's actually pressuring you, he's not ready either. Respecting your wishes and understanding your feelings also shows he cares, as well as displaying that all-important emotional maturity. When you feel ready, tell him and eliminate any potential pregnancy/STI worries by using a condom.

6. I think my vagina looks weird and flappy

Err, how many vaginas have you seen up close and personal? Being a body part that's not usually on display, it's easy to think yours is odd-looking, has a funny smell, wiry pubic hair or vaginal lips (labia) that are 'too long' or a 'strange' colour. Vaginas, likes people, come in all shapes and sizes. Lips can be big, or small. Some are hairy, others aren't. Lads who've watched porn will have seen women with shaven vaginas and small labia, but, that doesn't mean they want you to look like a porn star. Some men are actually turned off by the 'plucked chicken' look.

7. Sex sometimes hurts

There are a few reasons why it might be more 'ouch' than 'ohhh'. It could be nerves, or if you're new to sex (or it's been a while), you might not be used to it. Mainly, it could be down to a lack of foreplay and lubrication. A lubricant helps, but the key to keeping things juicy is foreplay - so lots of kissing, touching and clitoral stimulation during sex should do the trick. If sex continues to hurt, you may want to see your GP.

8. I fancy a girl - am I a lesbian?

It's common to find another woman attractive and it doesn't always mean you're gay/lesbian. Dr Petra Boynton points out you might be attracted to that particular person, to both guys and girls (bi-sexual), or it could be just girls. For some women, it can be part of a fantasy involving a particular girl or women, but you might feel it's something more serious and want to start a relationship. It's normal to have these feelings, whether you're gay, bi or heterosexual, so don't rush to stick a label on yourself.

9. Is it wrong to masturbate?

Absolutely not. It's not harmful and it's not wrong - if truth be told, it's the best way to find out what gets you going under the sheets! If you've never masturbated, start by exploring your vagina - in particular the clitoris - and you'll discover what makes you feel good. Dr Boynton notes how some girls feel they shouldn't masturbate when they're in a relationship (either alone or in front of their partner), but masturbation is actually a brilliant sex aid, so go for it.

10. I'm worried he won't want to use a condom

If you think the man should take the lead in sex, it's easy to think he calls the shots in general. Dr Boynton recommends introducing condoms in a positive way, for example: "I want to relax and not worry about getting pregnant so let's use one." If he doesn't like the sound of that, it says everything about his sexual maturity and experience (or lack of it) and has nothing to do with you being 'frigid'.

Men and sex: top 10 worries

1. Will masturbation make me infertile?

There's a lot of myths around about masturbation, as no one really talks about such a private act. The fact is it won't make you blind or infertile, nor is it compulsory. Also, people do it whether or not they're in a relationship - including women. It's just a natural way to get in touch with your body and the pleasure you can get from it.

2. How do I find her clitoris?

The female clitoris is that highly sensitive, and highly sought after erectile sex organ. It's basically a fleshy bump, located at the top of the vaginal lips. Like the penis, the clitoris is packed with nerve endings and serves as the focus of stimulation for women, often resulting in orgasm. As for finding it, and handling it right, the best thing you can do is ask! If you're comfortable with your partner, and feel able to discuss such an intimate subject, then find out how she likes to be touched. With help, respect and experience, you'll soon find your way.

3. I'm too embarrassed to buy condoms

Using condoms means you're sussed about contraception. It means you understand and respect your sexual health and also your partner's. In this view, buying contraception really shouldn't be an issue. It certainly isn't for the person at the till. But if you really can't face it, alone or even with your partner, then condoms are available from vending machines installed in places like public toilets - where you can make the transaction in relative privacy.

4. She's more experienced than me

Your performance in the sack doesn't depend upon how many notches you've racked up on your bedpost. Nor does it matter that she's notched a few more than you. No matter how many times you or your partner have done it, what counts is the way you relate to each other - both physically and emotionally. If you're comfortable in her company, and feel able to communicate on an intimate basis, then sex should be rewarding for you both in equal measure.

5. My girlfriend wants sex and I'm not ready

Lads find it hard to admit they feel pressured into sex, fearing that it's somehow not macho. If you can be honest about your feelings, however, it shows an emotional maturity that your partner should respect.

6. She's not ready for sex

Sex is at its best when both of you feel comfortable with the idea of getting intimate. Rush into it, chances are you'll end up feeling insecure or disappointed. If you respect her, then let her know there's no pressure from you.

7. I can't admit to my mates that I'm still a virgin

Being a virgin doesn't make you any less of a man, though a lot of lads lie about their sexual conquests in a bid to cover up their insecurities. Even if they are telling the truth, bragging about it doesn't show much respect for such an intimate act.

8. Can we have sex during her period?

Yes. Providing you're both comfortable with the idea, as there may be some menstrual bleeding, and you're sussed about safer sex. A woman isn't likely to get pregnant during her period, but there's always a chance- especially at the end of her menstrual cycle. What's more, unprotected sex increases the risk of exposure to sexually transmitted infections, period or not!

9. How can I tell if she's really had an orgasm?

Unless she's prepared to let you know, the truth is it's very difficult. Sure, you can look for little signs such as an increase in her breathing rate or a change in her body movement, but you'll never be sure if it's because she's having an orgasm or simply hoping that faking it will stop you looking so anxious! The only way to be sure is by talking about the issue with her. Find out what brings her to orgasm, and when, if at all. Ultimately, sexual communication is at the heart of any good orgasm -male or female -it's just a question of building up the trust and respect between you.

10. Surely size matters a little bit?

The size of a man's penis really doesn't have any bearing on his status as a lover. Women everywhere will vouch for the fact that a caring and considerate guy counts a whole lot more than a bloke with a big dick and no brains. So chuck away your ruler, and start measuring up as a skilled, sensitive and rewarding sexual partner.

Does size is matter?

It's not what you've got, but what you do with it that counts, right? Well mostly. We asked the girls and this is what they said.

OK, so what is the average size anyway?

The non-erect penis: usually measures between three and four-and-a-quarter inches from tip to base. The average figure is about three-and-three-quarter inches, but so many factors, like swimming in cold water, can cause a temporary shrinkage of an inch or more.

The erect penis: this is where sizes tend to converge, the average apparently being between five-and-a-half and six-and-a-half inches.

Do girls care?

"I once went out with a guy called Justin who was about an inch - yes, ONE inch - when erect," says Cathy. "He was literally Just In, or so he said - I couldn't tell!"

"I don't really care what size it is, as long as it's attached to my bloke," says Meryn. "Believe it or not, most of us don't whip out the tape measure as soon as we get your kecks down."

So, under an inch and we may be bothered, but generally speaking us girls don't care about the length. While you guys are wishing to wake up one morning with an inch or two more, we're a bit bemused by your worrying. Besides which a lot of girls don't orgasm simply from penetrative sex, so it's the action of your fingers and tongue that really matters.

Sometimes size can matter - but not the way you'd think. "I once slept with a guy who was very big and it was awful," says Jezzi. "His size made him over confident and he didn't even try to please me. My current boyfriend is much smaller, but he cares how I feel, so sex with him is 200% better. Honestly guys, size is bugger all, it's how hard you try that matters."

"53% of respondents to the TheSite.org's Saucy Survey aren't bothered by the size of a man's penis."

Did you know?

You may be unaware that the vagina of a women who hasn't had a baby is a mere four inches (8.5 cm) when she's aroused, although it can lengthen to accommodate a penis up to eight inches long (so long as he enters slowly). This basically means that most knobs will fit snugly, and be able to hit all the right buttons, so stop your fretting.

"Why do so many guys worry about the size of it? There really is no need, stop worrying so much," says Laura.

In fact if you are desperate to have something to stress about, girth may be more important than length. Many of us would rather have a wider, shorter dick than a long, skinny one because there's more feeling from it rubbing up against the vaginal walls.

Do your mates care? Like we've already mentioned, the myth that size matters, and somehow indicates your virility is one perpetuated mostly by men talking to other men. So, at a confidence-boosting comparison level, it does matter to them. But when we're talking about pleasing a woman, it's not important.

Finally

Anyone who rejects you for the size and shape of your dick is likely to be a bit shallow, and probably not worth your attention. A big knob does not guarantee sexual satisfaction, so relax, put down that tape measure and learn to enjoy what you've got.

Muscle Love

Work it baby, work it. TheSite goes in search of the male and female 'love muscles'.

What is it?

Your 'love muscle' is the PC muscle, which has nothing to do with coppers or political correctness. PC stands for Pubococcygeus, a large muscle that goes around the anus and most of the floor of the pelvis. In women, the muscle fibres circle the vagina, and in men, they pass under the prostate gland.

What does it do?

The PC muscle supports the contents of the pelvis, prevents urine incontinence, and (the best bit) increases sexual pleasure for females and males. Women with strong PC muscles often say that they have more toned-up vaginas, and can reach orgasm more easily. Many men who have trained their love muscle find that it allows them to delay orgasm and prevent premature ejaculation. A few men also say it lets them have two or more orgasms in a row without needing a 'rest' in between.

How do you find it?

Next time you pee, try to tighten up and stop the flow of urine. Notice the sensation, that's from tightening your PC muscle. Try it a few times to get the hang of it. Try squeezing it during sex to see if you like the sensations it causes, and ask if your partner likes it too.

Wanna work out?

To make those love muscles stronger, you have to work out. The exercises are called Kegels, and usually involve tensing for two seconds, then relaxing for two seconds. Kegel exercises are repeated several times for a few minutes every day, and most people have noticeable results in a couple of months. Women can also buy weights that are used inside the vagina to provide resistance and build the muscles up quicker. Some of them are cone-shaped, and others look a bit like a mini barbell.

Sexual Lingo

Agrexophilia: You like other people know you're having it off

Algophilia: You find pleasure in pain

Allopellia: You like watching other people do it

Allorgasmia: You think about someone else to reach climax

Altocalciphilia: High heel fetish

Amaurophilia: You like your partner blindfolded

Anasteemaphilia: Attracted to a difference in height

Androminetophilia: Boys who do girls dressed as boys

Amomaxia: You can't stop doing it in parked cars

Amychesis: Scratching during sex

Axillism: Sex with your partner's armpit

Basoexia: Sexual arousal from kissing

Belonephilia: Aroused by pins, needles, or other sharp objects

Capnolagnia: When smoking gets you horny

Claustrophilia: You love being in a confined space

Coprolalia: Naughty words float your boat

Dacrylagnia: You love it when your partner cries

Emetophilia: You have a vice for vomit

Endytophilia: Enjoy doing it with your clothes on

Eproctolagnia: A fetish for farting

Harmatophilia: Penchant for partners who are useless in bed

Harpaxophilia: Being robbed leaves you weak at the knees

Hypephilia: Attraction to fabrics

Iantronudia: Exposing yourself to the doc gets you going

Moriaphilia: Arousal from telling dirty jokes

Oculolinctus: Eyeball licking

Odontophilia: Tooth fetish

Phygephilia: Weakness for buttock kissing

Teledildonics: Arousal from computer sex games

Tragolimia: Craving for sex

Zelophilia: Arousal from jealousy

Stay Calm after sex

What is "Stay Calm" ?

This is a herbal dietary supplement for people who want to enhance their ability to manage stress by calming down the tensed nervous system ,which is caused due to the fast paced life and its activities.

What it does ?

This is basically a stress management dietary supplement which helps to soothe tension from overwork and fatigue, there by supporting a positive outlook of an individual. It is recommended by research that a very good intake of vitamins helps the efficient functioning of the nervous system. So this being a rich source of Vitamins and Calcium supports a positive sense of well being and mood improvement. The B-Vitamins help your body to cope with stress and regulate mood.

What are its contents ?

'Stay Calm' contains Wort and Valerian extracts along with Thiamin, Vitamins B6 and B12, which in itself is a unique formulation to combat stress.

Is the medication safe for both Men and Women ?

Yes, it is safe and effective for both men and women of any age groups.

What is the consumption pattern ?

Take one caplet 3 times daily preferably half an hour before meals.

Are there any dietary restrictions ?

NO, absolutely not, but Include fruits, vegetables, and whole grain cereal products in the daily diet.

Are there any other precautions ?

Alcoholic beverages should be consumed in moderation. Sleep at least 9hrs in a day. Reduce smoking and alcohol intake. Do not consume tea during the treatment. Do take morning walk exactly at sunrise and ensure to inhale fresh oxygen which is available during the early morning hours.

Do not use the treatment during the months of pregnancy and lactation.

Are there any side effects?

Actually, there are no side effects. This product is clinically tested and is free of all the side effects.

For private deliveries how to order?

Please call directly on mobile number 9341218992 (Mr. Rajesh or Mrs. Swetha). It can be delivered in or outside your place and privacy will be assured. Subject will not be discussed under any circumstances other than you.

What is the mode of delivery?

In the place where we have branches can be delivered hand to hand. For outstation deliveries VPP post parcel can be arranged. postman will give you sealed parcels and you can pay to him by cash.

Love Bites

What is it?

A love bite is basically a bruise, caused by bleeding under the skin as a result of your partner's limpet-like sucking on your neck. This temporary discoloration, technically called a hyperpigmentation, results from blood being drawn out of vessels under your skin.

Why do it?

Some people just can't stop themselves... Those possessive types may use love bites as a mark of possession to show everyone else you are taken. If they can't trust you to tell people yourself, are they worth it?

For others it is a show of affection, and the receivers are quite happy to show off to their mates that they are getting some. However this usually stops at 13 and so if your mates are still flaunting them you may suspect that the hoover did it. Just a thought.

When to stop

If you do have vampire tendencies you should be able to understand the word NO from your partner. Don't make him/her think that you're orally fixated, or that you didn't eat enough for dinner. Leave their flesh intact.

Cover up

To reduce the swelling apply a cold compress (like an ice cube wrapped in kitchen towel). This serves to make the broken blood vessels contract, but for best results it needs to be done immediately after the damage has been done.

If a few hours have passed try rubbing arnica on the affected area to soothe the skin. Applying a little make up will also help keep the truth covered up, as will a scarf or hiding in your room till the bruising fades.

Your suggested cures

One tried and tested method appears to be toothpaste:

"Toothpaste is really good. I'm coming from experience. It does help! And of course you can always pinch some concealer or powder from your sister's room to stop trying to get rid of them. Still, the best option is, tell your partner you don't like them - it saves all the hassle really," Angela.

And, of course, polonecks... but not in the Summer:

"Buy a selection of poloneck jumpers to cover it up- then again that might work in Winter but not in the current heatwave," Paul.

Virgin Cream

This is from USA which contains latest ingredient which tightens vagina. It’s requirement for ladies who looses their virginity (virgin size) usually after delivery and some cases before also and slowly both partner looses interest in each other without knowing the cause, this Virgin cream gives you complete youthfulness and bring back virginity (virgin size) to its original shape. Your partner starts taking interest in you, which you might have not experienced before.

How much time it takes to get youthful back?

It takes 30-45 days to get complete youthful size.

Can this be used by any age?

Yes it can be used by any age girl above 16 year or woman of any age can use this only pregnant lady can avoid using this but they can apply after delivery.

Lubed Up

Natural lubrication

When a woman gets really turned on, her vagina starts to produce a lubricating fluid. This slippery liquid cuts down on friction during sex, and smoothes out the ride as it protects delicate tissues. Inexperienced or selfish lovers often rush into having penetrative sex too quickly, causing problems with vaginal dryness. The answer to this is letting foreplay go on much longer, until she is truly ready. Unlike the vagina, the anus is non-self lubricating and the tissues can easily tear.

When you need extra

The body's natural lubrication can be reduced by many things, including certain parts of the menstrual cycle, breastfeeding and alcohol intake. At times like this, it doesn't matter how excited the woman gets, she just won't make enough of her own 'love lotion'. It might be the right time to get a bit of extra help.

Some people use a dab of saliva, but others prefer to buy lubricating products. Whatever you decide upon, don't be tempted to resort to using oil-based products such as moisturiser, massage oil, baby oil, or Vaseline. They can rot a condom in seconds, and are hard to wash out of the body afterwards. For safer sex, choose a water-based lubricant.

Popular lubes

Oil-free lubes can be bought in the chemist (usually on a shelf near the condom section), or from sex shops. Popular brands include KY Jelly, Sensilube, Liquid Silk, Wet, and Probe. There are also some flavoured and coloured gels on the market, but these are not recommended for internal use.

Notes about Nonoxynol-9

Many lubricants have a spermicidal action, including the ingredient Nonoxynol-9 (N-9), which has been the subject of much confusion after it was originally marketed as providing extra protection against HIV and STDs.

Research in 2001 revealed that condoms with N-9 provide no more protection against pregnancy or infection than plain lubricated condoms, and since N-9 condoms may cause irritation, they should not be promoted for any purpose. Many manufacturers have now agreed to remove lubricants and condoms containing N-9 from the shelves.

Advice about N-9, supported by Terrence Higgins Trust, includes the following:

• N-9 provides no protection against STIs or HIV and should not be used for disease prevention;
• N-9 containing products should not be used rectally. To do so could increase your risk of getting HIV or other STIs;
• Vaginal contraceptive products containing N-9 remain a viable contraceptive option for women at low risk of HIV who do not engage in multiple acts of intercourse in one day;
• At higher frequencies of use (more than once a day), N-9 may facilitate HIV transmission; therefore women who have frequent sex or are at risk of HIV should use another form of contraception.

Top tips for using lube

• An extra blob of lubricant inside the tip of a condom can give him some added sensation.
• Lube can make a hand-job more comfortable for him or for her.
• If you're trying anal play then be sure to use plenty of water-based lubrication and be sussed about safer sex. For penetration (by penis or sex toy) always use a strong condom to prevent the risk of STI transmission, and always change your rubber if you go on to enter or re-enter the vagina.