Women are unconsciously attracted to men who exhibit these characteristics:
Strong, healthy, and agile. In women's DNA is a need for protection and help during pregnancy and child rearing for many years.
Acquires and controls abundant resources. Again, women's primary unconscious drive is to raise children and they historically relied on men to help make a home for them and the children.
Tall. Six feet (1.83 m) is most frequent height desired, as indicated on surveys. A tall mate would provide good protection.
Interestingly, women's desire for a "good looking" man is quite low on the list of desired traits on surveys. Other characteristics for insuring a long term protective relationship were the highest desired traits on surveys in all cultures sampled.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Important Matters
Forget perfume, the keys to spicing up your sex life may already be in your kitchen.
Researchers say the smell, taste, and even appearance of certain foods can act as potent aphrodisiacs that not only get you in the mood for love, but also may even make you a better flirt and lover. And knowing what foods are appropriate at each stage of the sex and mating process can maximize these effects.
"Different foods have different nutrients and substances that affect the body physiologically in different ways, that's why different foods work for different stages," says clinical sexologist Ava Cadell, PhD. "Some foods lower inhibitions, some get the blood flowing directly to the genitalia, and some foods release happy hormones."
Cadell has grouped aphrodisiacs into three groups based on the physiological effects they have on the body and how those effects can enhance sexual performance at each stage of a person's sex life.
Foods for Flirting
When looking for a potential mate, Cadell says it's important to choose foods that secrete chemicals and hormones that make you happy in order to increase self-confidence, lower inhibitions, and make you a better flirt.
Flirt-friendly foods include:
Chili peppers. Spicy foods get the heart pumping and induce sweating.
Bananas. They contain chemicals that reportedly have a mood-lifting effect on the brain and raises self-confidence.
Carrots. Their phallic appearance and high-fiber content may induce sexual desire.
Foods for Seduction
In the next stage, seduction, aphrodisiacs can help trigger the release of sex hormones, such as testosterone, provide a quick energy boost, and increase blood flow to the genitals to get the body "in the mood" for love.
At this stage, Cadell says it's important to create a visual stimulation with foods that look like the genitalia, such as oysters, fresh figs, or carrots.
"Anything that is visually erotic is automatically going to set your brain in motion," says Cadell. "Second, certain foods release hormones, like testosterone in women that makes them more sexually aggressive and adventurous."
Other foods for seduction include:
Shrimp. High in iodine, shrimp and other types of seafood are vital to the thyroid gland, which is vital for energy.
Chocolate. Not only does chocolate provide a jolt of caffeine, the plant has a flower that looks like sex organs.
Ginger. This root reportedly increases blood flow to the genitals in both men and women.
Olives. Green ones are believed to make men more virile, while black ones increase women's sex drive.
Tomatoes. Known as "love apples" by Puritans, they have a reputation as a sexual stimulant.
Apples. Since Adam and Eve, this fruit has been synonymous with temptation.
"My favorite thing is that when you're with someone is to feed each other with the most seductive foods you can find," says Cadell, "like an asparagus where one person can start at one end and another at the other end and you meet in the middle."
Cadell says not only is asparagus a sexy, long, phallic-looking food, but it's rich in potassium, phosphorus, calcium, and vitamin E that can aid in hormone production and raising energy levels.
Researchers say the smell, taste, and even appearance of certain foods can act as potent aphrodisiacs that not only get you in the mood for love, but also may even make you a better flirt and lover. And knowing what foods are appropriate at each stage of the sex and mating process can maximize these effects.
"Different foods have different nutrients and substances that affect the body physiologically in different ways, that's why different foods work for different stages," says clinical sexologist Ava Cadell, PhD. "Some foods lower inhibitions, some get the blood flowing directly to the genitalia, and some foods release happy hormones."
Cadell has grouped aphrodisiacs into three groups based on the physiological effects they have on the body and how those effects can enhance sexual performance at each stage of a person's sex life.
Foods for Flirting
When looking for a potential mate, Cadell says it's important to choose foods that secrete chemicals and hormones that make you happy in order to increase self-confidence, lower inhibitions, and make you a better flirt.
Flirt-friendly foods include:
Chili peppers. Spicy foods get the heart pumping and induce sweating.
Bananas. They contain chemicals that reportedly have a mood-lifting effect on the brain and raises self-confidence.
Carrots. Their phallic appearance and high-fiber content may induce sexual desire.
Foods for Seduction
In the next stage, seduction, aphrodisiacs can help trigger the release of sex hormones, such as testosterone, provide a quick energy boost, and increase blood flow to the genitals to get the body "in the mood" for love.
At this stage, Cadell says it's important to create a visual stimulation with foods that look like the genitalia, such as oysters, fresh figs, or carrots.
"Anything that is visually erotic is automatically going to set your brain in motion," says Cadell. "Second, certain foods release hormones, like testosterone in women that makes them more sexually aggressive and adventurous."
Other foods for seduction include:
Shrimp. High in iodine, shrimp and other types of seafood are vital to the thyroid gland, which is vital for energy.
Chocolate. Not only does chocolate provide a jolt of caffeine, the plant has a flower that looks like sex organs.
Ginger. This root reportedly increases blood flow to the genitals in both men and women.
Olives. Green ones are believed to make men more virile, while black ones increase women's sex drive.
Tomatoes. Known as "love apples" by Puritans, they have a reputation as a sexual stimulant.
Apples. Since Adam and Eve, this fruit has been synonymous with temptation.
"My favorite thing is that when you're with someone is to feed each other with the most seductive foods you can find," says Cadell, "like an asparagus where one person can start at one end and another at the other end and you meet in the middle."
Cadell says not only is asparagus a sexy, long, phallic-looking food, but it's rich in potassium, phosphorus, calcium, and vitamin E that can aid in hormone production and raising energy levels.
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Top 10 Foods for Healthy Hair
"Lather, rinse, repeat" may be standard advice, but shampoo and conditioner alone won't give you the healthy hair you crave. For the most luxurious locks possible, you'll need to step out of the shower, and into the kitchen.
"Your hair grows about 1/4 to 1/2 inch every month, and the foundation of all of our new hair, skin, and nail growth is the nutrients we eat," says Dawn Jackson Blatner, RD, a Chicago-based dietitian. "If you eat a healthy diet, you will grow stronger and healthier cells throughout your entire body -- inside and out."
If you were born with fine, thin hair, you'll never have rope-thick tresses -- no matter what you eat -- but a well-balanced diet that includes plenty of growth-promoting protein and iron can make a difference, say nutrition and hair experts.
And beware of dietary supplements often marketed to thicken hair or make it grow faster. They may backfire.
"Even though you can find beauty supplements on the shelves of most stores, try to get the nutrients you need from foods whenever possible," Paradi Mirmirani, MD, a dermatologist in Vallejo, Calif., tells WebMD. "In rare instances, excess supplementation of certain nutrients, such as vitamin A, has been linked to hair loss."
Salmon
When it comes to foods that pack a beauty punch, it's hard to beat salmon. Loaded with omega-3 fatty acids, this high-quality protein source is also filled with vitamin B-12 and iron.
"Essential omega-3 fatty acids are needed to support scalp health," says Andrea Giancoli, MPH, RD, a dietitian in Los Angeles and a spokeswoman for the American Dietetic Association. "A deficiency can result in a dry scalp and thus hair, giving it a dull look."
Vegetarian? Include one or two tablespoons of ground flaxseed in your daily diet for some plant-based omega-3 fats.
Dark Green Vegetables
Popeye the Sailor Man didn't eat all that spinach for healthy hair, but he could have. Spinach, like broccoli and Swiss chard, is an excellent source of vitamins A and C, which your body needs to produce sebum. The oily substance, secreted by your hair follicles, is the body's natural hair conditioner.
Dark green vegetables also provide iron and calcium.
Beans
Beans, beans, they're good for your ... hair?
Yes, it's true. Legumes like kidney beans and lentils should be an important part of your hair-care diet. Not only do they provide plentiful protein to promote hair growth, but ample iron, zinc, and biotin. While rare, biotin deficiencies can result in brittle hair.
Blatner, who is also a spokeswoman for the American Dietetic Association, recommends three or more cups of lentils or beans each week.
Nuts
Do you go nuts for thick, shiny hair? You should.
Brazil nuts are one of nature's best sources of selenium, an important mineral for the health of your scalp.
Walnuts contain alpha-linolenic acid, an omega-3 fatty acid that may help condition your hair. They are also a terrific source of zinc, as are cashews, pecans, and almonds. A zinc deficiency can lead to hair shedding, so make sure nuts are a regular on your healthy hair menu.
Poultry
Chickens and turkeys may have feathers, but the high-quality protein they provide will help give you the healthy hair you crave.
"Without adequate protein or with low-quality protein, one can experience weak brittle hair, while a profound protein deficiency can result in loss of hair color," Giancoli tells WebMD.
Poultry also provides iron with a high degree of bioavailability, meaning your body can easily reap its benefits.
Eggs
When it comes to healthy hair, it doesn't matter whether you like your eggs scrambled, fried, or over easy. However they're served up, eggs are one of the best protein sources you can find.
They also contain biotin and vitamin B-12, which are important beauty nutrients.
Whole Grains
Sink your teeth into hearty whole grains, including whole-wheat bread and fortified whole-grain breakfast cereals, for a hair-healthy dose of zinc, iron, and B vitamins.
A whole-grain snack can also be a great go-to food when your energy is zapped halfway through the afternoon, and you've still got hours to go before dinner.
Oysters
Oysters may be better known for their reputation as an aphrodisiac, but they can also lead to healthy hair -- and who doesn't love that?
The key to their love and hair-boosting abilities is zinc -- a powerful antioxidant.
If oysters don't make a regular appearance on your dinner plate, don't despair. In addition to getting it from whole grains and nuts, you can also get zinc from beef and lamb.
Low-Fat Dairy Products
Low-fat dairy products like skim milk and yogurt are great sources of calcium, an important mineral for hair growth. They also contain whey and casein, two high-quality protein sources.
For some healthy hair foods "to-go," try throwing a yogurt or cottage cheese cup in your bag when you head out in the morning to snack on later in the day. You can even boost their hair benefits by stirring in a couple of tablespoons of ground flaxseeds or walnuts for omega-3 fatty acids and zinc.
Carrots
Carrots are an excellent source of vitamin A, which promotes a healthy scalp along with good vision.
Since a healthy scalp is essential for a shiny, well-conditioned head of hair, you'd be wise to include carrots in your diet as snacks or toppings on your salad.
"Your hair grows about 1/4 to 1/2 inch every month, and the foundation of all of our new hair, skin, and nail growth is the nutrients we eat," says Dawn Jackson Blatner, RD, a Chicago-based dietitian. "If you eat a healthy diet, you will grow stronger and healthier cells throughout your entire body -- inside and out."
If you were born with fine, thin hair, you'll never have rope-thick tresses -- no matter what you eat -- but a well-balanced diet that includes plenty of growth-promoting protein and iron can make a difference, say nutrition and hair experts.
And beware of dietary supplements often marketed to thicken hair or make it grow faster. They may backfire.
"Even though you can find beauty supplements on the shelves of most stores, try to get the nutrients you need from foods whenever possible," Paradi Mirmirani, MD, a dermatologist in Vallejo, Calif., tells WebMD. "In rare instances, excess supplementation of certain nutrients, such as vitamin A, has been linked to hair loss."
Salmon
When it comes to foods that pack a beauty punch, it's hard to beat salmon. Loaded with omega-3 fatty acids, this high-quality protein source is also filled with vitamin B-12 and iron.
"Essential omega-3 fatty acids are needed to support scalp health," says Andrea Giancoli, MPH, RD, a dietitian in Los Angeles and a spokeswoman for the American Dietetic Association. "A deficiency can result in a dry scalp and thus hair, giving it a dull look."
Vegetarian? Include one or two tablespoons of ground flaxseed in your daily diet for some plant-based omega-3 fats.
Dark Green Vegetables
Popeye the Sailor Man didn't eat all that spinach for healthy hair, but he could have. Spinach, like broccoli and Swiss chard, is an excellent source of vitamins A and C, which your body needs to produce sebum. The oily substance, secreted by your hair follicles, is the body's natural hair conditioner.
Dark green vegetables also provide iron and calcium.
Beans
Beans, beans, they're good for your ... hair?
Yes, it's true. Legumes like kidney beans and lentils should be an important part of your hair-care diet. Not only do they provide plentiful protein to promote hair growth, but ample iron, zinc, and biotin. While rare, biotin deficiencies can result in brittle hair.
Blatner, who is also a spokeswoman for the American Dietetic Association, recommends three or more cups of lentils or beans each week.
Nuts
Do you go nuts for thick, shiny hair? You should.
Brazil nuts are one of nature's best sources of selenium, an important mineral for the health of your scalp.
Walnuts contain alpha-linolenic acid, an omega-3 fatty acid that may help condition your hair. They are also a terrific source of zinc, as are cashews, pecans, and almonds. A zinc deficiency can lead to hair shedding, so make sure nuts are a regular on your healthy hair menu.
Poultry
Chickens and turkeys may have feathers, but the high-quality protein they provide will help give you the healthy hair you crave.
"Without adequate protein or with low-quality protein, one can experience weak brittle hair, while a profound protein deficiency can result in loss of hair color," Giancoli tells WebMD.
Poultry also provides iron with a high degree of bioavailability, meaning your body can easily reap its benefits.
Eggs
When it comes to healthy hair, it doesn't matter whether you like your eggs scrambled, fried, or over easy. However they're served up, eggs are one of the best protein sources you can find.
They also contain biotin and vitamin B-12, which are important beauty nutrients.
Whole Grains
Sink your teeth into hearty whole grains, including whole-wheat bread and fortified whole-grain breakfast cereals, for a hair-healthy dose of zinc, iron, and B vitamins.
A whole-grain snack can also be a great go-to food when your energy is zapped halfway through the afternoon, and you've still got hours to go before dinner.
Oysters
Oysters may be better known for their reputation as an aphrodisiac, but they can also lead to healthy hair -- and who doesn't love that?
The key to their love and hair-boosting abilities is zinc -- a powerful antioxidant.
If oysters don't make a regular appearance on your dinner plate, don't despair. In addition to getting it from whole grains and nuts, you can also get zinc from beef and lamb.
Low-Fat Dairy Products
Low-fat dairy products like skim milk and yogurt are great sources of calcium, an important mineral for hair growth. They also contain whey and casein, two high-quality protein sources.
For some healthy hair foods "to-go," try throwing a yogurt or cottage cheese cup in your bag when you head out in the morning to snack on later in the day. You can even boost their hair benefits by stirring in a couple of tablespoons of ground flaxseeds or walnuts for omega-3 fatty acids and zinc.
Carrots
Carrots are an excellent source of vitamin A, which promotes a healthy scalp along with good vision.
Since a healthy scalp is essential for a shiny, well-conditioned head of hair, you'd be wise to include carrots in your diet as snacks or toppings on your salad.
Male Menopause?
Is there really such a thing as male menopause? Conventional wisdom says that menopause is a "woman's condition," but as men advance into their 40s they also experience a progressive decline in hormone levels, namely testosterone. The result can be andropause, which is estimated to affect about 5 million American men.
The hormonal decline that men experience isn't nearly as abrupt as it is in women — it's more like walking down a hill than jumping off a cliff. However, waning testosterone is likely to make a guy moody, irritable and depressed.
(Upon hearing this list of symptoms, one woman joked of her husband, "Is it possible he's had menopause since he was 20?") A decrease in available testosterone also increases a man’s risk for heart disease, and makes him more prone to injury because of decreasing bone density.
Let's be clear: Andropause is not the same as a mid-life crisis, which is a psycho-social issue. And not all guys who experience aging — and the inevitable decline in testosterone that comes along with it — can be qualified as having andropause.
Andropause is a medical condition, diagnosed with a blood test by a physician that reveals testosterone levels below a certain level. If a diagnosis of andropause is warranted, treatment with testosterone replacement may be an option, depending on a man’s health history. Just as there are various hormone replacement therapies for women, there's also testosterone replacement therapy for men — and research is still ongoing into potential side effects.
However, the biggest, and most misunderstood, symptom of declining testosterone is a decrease in libido. Testosterone is truly the hormone that stokes the flames of desire. Many men confuse andropause with erectile dysfunction (ED), because they often occur around the same time. These men often turn to an ED medication, such as Viagra, to improve their erectile ability, which works for a time in most cases. However, as men get older, the gap between desire and arousal widens and many men become deeply disappointed when Viagra doesn't give them the desire to have sex. That's because Viagra doesn't boost testosterone levels.
The first issue for men, and their partners, is to accept the very concept of male menopause, talk about it as a couple, and, if they’re concerned, make an appointment with an endocrinologist to check hormone levels. But beyond medical therapies, it's also about knowing, understanding and accepting that sex evolves with the passage of life.
For guys who can embrace a deeper intimacy and open themselves up to a different experience of sex, the passage of time brings many rewards. Unfortunately, many men have a limited idea of sex, and they feel that if they're not having sex the way they were at age 20 or 30, then something must be wrong. It's too bad more men aren't open to sharing their experiences with each other, since changes in sexual function are so common. Fortunately, if women know what's going on and realize that hormonal decline can affect their partners, too, then they can take a proactive lead in starting a dialogue.
For more on this subject, consider reading Jed Diamond's "Surviving Male Menopause: A Guide for Women and Men."
The hormonal decline that men experience isn't nearly as abrupt as it is in women — it's more like walking down a hill than jumping off a cliff. However, waning testosterone is likely to make a guy moody, irritable and depressed.
(Upon hearing this list of symptoms, one woman joked of her husband, "Is it possible he's had menopause since he was 20?") A decrease in available testosterone also increases a man’s risk for heart disease, and makes him more prone to injury because of decreasing bone density.
Let's be clear: Andropause is not the same as a mid-life crisis, which is a psycho-social issue. And not all guys who experience aging — and the inevitable decline in testosterone that comes along with it — can be qualified as having andropause.
Andropause is a medical condition, diagnosed with a blood test by a physician that reveals testosterone levels below a certain level. If a diagnosis of andropause is warranted, treatment with testosterone replacement may be an option, depending on a man’s health history. Just as there are various hormone replacement therapies for women, there's also testosterone replacement therapy for men — and research is still ongoing into potential side effects.
However, the biggest, and most misunderstood, symptom of declining testosterone is a decrease in libido. Testosterone is truly the hormone that stokes the flames of desire. Many men confuse andropause with erectile dysfunction (ED), because they often occur around the same time. These men often turn to an ED medication, such as Viagra, to improve their erectile ability, which works for a time in most cases. However, as men get older, the gap between desire and arousal widens and many men become deeply disappointed when Viagra doesn't give them the desire to have sex. That's because Viagra doesn't boost testosterone levels.
The first issue for men, and their partners, is to accept the very concept of male menopause, talk about it as a couple, and, if they’re concerned, make an appointment with an endocrinologist to check hormone levels. But beyond medical therapies, it's also about knowing, understanding and accepting that sex evolves with the passage of life.
For guys who can embrace a deeper intimacy and open themselves up to a different experience of sex, the passage of time brings many rewards. Unfortunately, many men have a limited idea of sex, and they feel that if they're not having sex the way they were at age 20 or 30, then something must be wrong. It's too bad more men aren't open to sharing their experiences with each other, since changes in sexual function are so common. Fortunately, if women know what's going on and realize that hormonal decline can affect their partners, too, then they can take a proactive lead in starting a dialogue.
For more on this subject, consider reading Jed Diamond's "Surviving Male Menopause: A Guide for Women and Men."
Monday, January 12, 2009
Sex Education - Bedroom
I would like to take all the sexually active men in the world and cram them into a classroom. Then, my hair securely tied back in a bun and wearing a pair of black plastic-rimmed glasses, I would pull down charts, project slides, analyze charts and show films about the anatomy of female genitalia.
Somewhere along the winding road of male sex education, this subject appears to have been, well, ignored.
Like many of my girlfriends, I have long labored under the misapprehension that all men know about the clitoris. After all, I know about the penis, right? I was taught all about its shape, its physiology, its hidden ducts and channels in my seventh-grade sex education class in an all-girls school. But now that I think about it, I realize that the subject of the clitoris was blipped right over. We all suspected that the little hooded form was significant; at that point, we'd just made our own early inroads into the world of masturbation. Some of us had figured out that if you lay on your back in a bathtub and let the water splash over just the right spot of your prepubescent mound, a strange sensation rocketed through you, making you tremble and feel guilty.
Later, we looked at our parents' books: "The Joy of Sex," "How to Make Love to a Woman" and even the Japanese coffee-table tome, "Erotic Art." Seventies couples were pictured in the prototypical line drawings, men busily attending to that little rosy button between the legs of their women folk, who were seemingly paralyzed, backs arched, in the throes of what looked like pain. By the time our mid-teenage years had kicked in, we girls knew the clitoris was the gateway to our pleasure. We naively assumed the boys would make it their business to find out too.
My friend Isobel has been going out with Jack now for about a year. She is by all accounts in love. They mesh in all the right ways, she says, from their mutual love of "Law & Order" to their decision not to have children to their enjoyment of Alice Waters' cuisine. And yet, and yet. Isobel has never had an orgasm with Jack, which astounds me, but seems to only mildly bother her (which astounds me further). "Sometimes it feels like I might," she said to me. "When he's on top of me, and he's lasting longer than usual, and he's moving in the just the right way, when our rhythm is in sync. But then ... I don't."
"Have you tried ..." I cleared my throat, "well, talking about this?"
Isobel looked distracted. "I would," she said, "but at this point it's kind of too late. You know? I should have said something a long time ago. I don't think he knows anything about the clitoris, I don't think he knows that I can't get off unless he pays attention to it. I'm not sure he would know what I was talking about."
"What if you showed him?"
"It's not as if he hasn't ever touched me there. It's just that when he does, it's not the right way. He doesn't have any delicacy about it, he kind of fumbles around, and it ends up hurting more than feeling good. Then afterwards, when we're done and he gets up to go to the bathroom, I touch myself. I can come really fast on my own." Seeing my startled expression, Isobel said hurriedly, "It's not as if I don't enjoy having sex with Jack, because I do. We share other great things that make up for it."
Somewhere along the winding road of male sex education, this subject appears to have been, well, ignored.
Like many of my girlfriends, I have long labored under the misapprehension that all men know about the clitoris. After all, I know about the penis, right? I was taught all about its shape, its physiology, its hidden ducts and channels in my seventh-grade sex education class in an all-girls school. But now that I think about it, I realize that the subject of the clitoris was blipped right over. We all suspected that the little hooded form was significant; at that point, we'd just made our own early inroads into the world of masturbation. Some of us had figured out that if you lay on your back in a bathtub and let the water splash over just the right spot of your prepubescent mound, a strange sensation rocketed through you, making you tremble and feel guilty.
Later, we looked at our parents' books: "The Joy of Sex," "How to Make Love to a Woman" and even the Japanese coffee-table tome, "Erotic Art." Seventies couples were pictured in the prototypical line drawings, men busily attending to that little rosy button between the legs of their women folk, who were seemingly paralyzed, backs arched, in the throes of what looked like pain. By the time our mid-teenage years had kicked in, we girls knew the clitoris was the gateway to our pleasure. We naively assumed the boys would make it their business to find out too.
My friend Isobel has been going out with Jack now for about a year. She is by all accounts in love. They mesh in all the right ways, she says, from their mutual love of "Law & Order" to their decision not to have children to their enjoyment of Alice Waters' cuisine. And yet, and yet. Isobel has never had an orgasm with Jack, which astounds me, but seems to only mildly bother her (which astounds me further). "Sometimes it feels like I might," she said to me. "When he's on top of me, and he's lasting longer than usual, and he's moving in the just the right way, when our rhythm is in sync. But then ... I don't."
"Have you tried ..." I cleared my throat, "well, talking about this?"
Isobel looked distracted. "I would," she said, "but at this point it's kind of too late. You know? I should have said something a long time ago. I don't think he knows anything about the clitoris, I don't think he knows that I can't get off unless he pays attention to it. I'm not sure he would know what I was talking about."
"What if you showed him?"
"It's not as if he hasn't ever touched me there. It's just that when he does, it's not the right way. He doesn't have any delicacy about it, he kind of fumbles around, and it ends up hurting more than feeling good. Then afterwards, when we're done and he gets up to go to the bathroom, I touch myself. I can come really fast on my own." Seeing my startled expression, Isobel said hurriedly, "It's not as if I don't enjoy having sex with Jack, because I do. We share other great things that make up for it."
Sex Education
A little blue pill may have taken the heat off men with erectile dysfunction, but what if your wife is having trouble in the bedroom? According to a Yale study, one in two women experience some sort of sexual dysfunction (such as lack of desire, vaginal dryness, or an inability to orgasm), and experts say it is caused by everything from stress to insomnia to birth-control pills.
"Female sexual dysfunction is far more difficult to detect than a visibly flaccid organ," says Michael Krychman, MD, medical director of sexual medicine at Hoag Hospital, in California. "We are just beginning to understand the biology and neuro-chemistry involved." Two libido-boosting drugs for women, LibiGel (a testosterone patch) and Flibanserin (an antidepressant), are on their way to FDA approval and in phase III of clinical trials.
But not all experts agree that these drugs will be a cure-all. "If there are things wrong in the relationship, taking a pill or spraying something into your nose won't fix the problem," says Stephanie Buehler, a sex therapist in Orange County, California. Dr. Krychman believes there are several things a man can do to help. The first thing, he says, is to sit down and talk to your wife about what is happening. "Most men want to be supportive but are unaware of the facts," says Dr. Krychman. "Ask her what she is feeling, both emotionally and physically. Once she knows you want to help, she'll be more likely to open up about what she's going through." When she does, try these tips to get her back on track in the bedroom.
Get wet. Vaginal dryness is common in women over 40 and is also a side effect of certain medications, but there's an easy fix: water-based drugstore lubricants such as K-Y and Astroglide. "It seems like a no-brainer," says Dr. Krychman, "but I'm amazed by how many of my patients haven't tried them."
Feed her desire. A recent study in the International Journal of Impotence Research found that women who followed the Mediterranean diet (rich in whole grains, legumes, and olive oil) had increased libido and sexual function. Dr. Krychman agrees: "Any food that is good for your heart is going to increase blood flow to every area of your body."
"Female sexual dysfunction is far more difficult to detect than a visibly flaccid organ," says Michael Krychman, MD, medical director of sexual medicine at Hoag Hospital, in California. "We are just beginning to understand the biology and neuro-chemistry involved." Two libido-boosting drugs for women, LibiGel (a testosterone patch) and Flibanserin (an antidepressant), are on their way to FDA approval and in phase III of clinical trials.
But not all experts agree that these drugs will be a cure-all. "If there are things wrong in the relationship, taking a pill or spraying something into your nose won't fix the problem," says Stephanie Buehler, a sex therapist in Orange County, California. Dr. Krychman believes there are several things a man can do to help. The first thing, he says, is to sit down and talk to your wife about what is happening. "Most men want to be supportive but are unaware of the facts," says Dr. Krychman. "Ask her what she is feeling, both emotionally and physically. Once she knows you want to help, she'll be more likely to open up about what she's going through." When she does, try these tips to get her back on track in the bedroom.
Get wet. Vaginal dryness is common in women over 40 and is also a side effect of certain medications, but there's an easy fix: water-based drugstore lubricants such as K-Y and Astroglide. "It seems like a no-brainer," says Dr. Krychman, "but I'm amazed by how many of my patients haven't tried them."
Feed her desire. A recent study in the International Journal of Impotence Research found that women who followed the Mediterranean diet (rich in whole grains, legumes, and olive oil) had increased libido and sexual function. Dr. Krychman agrees: "Any food that is good for your heart is going to increase blood flow to every area of your body."
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