Care About Your Hair Also

Taken in a place with no name (See more photos or videos here)
All it took to set him off was one single hair. Human, animal, synthetic – didn’t matter.

If it was in or near his food, that was it – he stopped eating. Pushed his plate away, made his repulsed face and, often as not, dressed down the wife for her sloppy habits in the kitchen.

If the hair was on his clothing, he would change. Immediately. And, often as not, dress down the wife for her lousy skills with the laundry.

If the hair was on the furniture, he would leave the room. The wife would take the point about her awful housekeeping.

Through it all she kept her own long black hair twisted tight in a high round bun.

The kids made fun of it. God knew why. But they found that mound of hair atop her head ridiculously funny. One of their favourite games was to sneak up behind her with something long and skinny like a pencil and… for simple amusement… impale the bun, running it through like the loser in a sword fight.

Sometimes she’d feel the intrusion and swat at the offending child while the others laughed. Other times she had no clue, and that made the children laugh even harder.

She took her hair very seriously. Once a week, she washed it, combed it out and rolled it up with bobby pins and pink foam curlers with rectangular plastic snaps. Her hair had always been stick straight, and she liked it curly. Not that anyone saw. As soon as the pins and foam came out, the hair was quickly re-bunned. And that was it. Till the next week.

When it was loose, it fell almost to her waist.

It made her feel young and girlish and coquettish.

Her husband glowered. “You look like a fucking Indian,” he said one time, after she had touched up her grey and gone, by accident, a bit too dark.

Another time he told her it made her look old… all that long hair, dragging down her face.

Another time, moved to kindness by her birthday or some such occasion, he offered to spring for a trip to the salon, so she could “finally get it done properly.”

And he was constantly finding hairs, and removing them from wherever… and making a great drama of it… extending an arm in super-slow motion, and widening his eyes in horror and revulsion as he demonstrated the sickening length of each and every find.

He had no idea how much these comments and demonstrations of disgust hurt her. How they undermined her sense of worth, her self esteem, her very sense of woman-ness. Long hair, to her, was synonymous with beauty and femininity.

To him it was a pain in the ass. A cross to bear. A health hazard.

And so she expected he’d be pleased (maybe even delighted) when she had it cut.

She went to a neighbour, a woman who made extra money for her family by doing people’s hair; self-taught, she called herself. They did it in her kitchen, with dirty dishes and dustballs and crumbs for witnesses. Partway through… with one side short, the other hanging wet and lank… the hairdresser ran to the dining room, shouting apologies, to take her naked toddler off the table, where the kid had been sliding, crotch down. There was wailing and struggling and a few minutes passed.

The wife sat alone and looked at her two different sides in the mirror – short-haired, long-haired. She thought the husband had been right after all. The long hair really did add years.

She smiled as the scissors resumed their slow chop-grind through the thick heavy bunches of her hair.

Afterwards, the hairdresser offered to blow it dry. At first the wife resisted. She wanted to go straight home and put it up in pins and rollers. But she told herself, “No – this is the New Me, the Modern Me, and the New Modern Me will embrace this new, electric technology and be on the cutting edge of fashion.”

So she got the curling iron, too.

The hairdresser rolled the wife’s hair under, all the way around, like a circle of sausage. It swung and shone when she moved her head. It looked so different. And it felt so light. And the wife thought, “I look so young!”

The hairdresser offered coffee and cookies to celebrate. The wife accepted. Then she glanced at the dining room table where the coffee things were being laid out, and remembered… no, not a surface she would like to eat from. She made an excuse about being pressed for time, paid the woman, and walked back home.

She couldn’t wait to show her husband. Tried on four or five different outfits that afternoon, seeking one that would show off her hair to best advantage.

She made his favourite dinner. Hamburgers and mashed potatoes. Sang a little song as her hands worked the speckly meat and breadcrumbs and seasonings into neat round patties.

The kids came home from school. “Wow!” they said. “You look great, Mom!” and “Wait till Dad sees – boy oh boy, is he gonna love it!”

She asked the kids not to say anything to Dad. They agreed. And soon he was home.

The wife stole one last glance at herself in the mirror as he walked in the door.

He said nothing beyond the usual “Hi” and “Damn am I tired” and of course “What’s for dinner?” He smiled when she told him hamburgers and mashed potatoes. But that was it. He didn’t say a thing about her appearance. She figured he was waiting till later… maybe after the kids were in bed. Then he’d show her how impressed he was.

But bedtime came and went and… nothing. Not a word about the hair from the husband.

She waited and waited. And hoped and hoped. But... nothing.

Finally she went and stood before him in the living room, straightening up, making her neck long, sure he couldn’t possibly avoid seeing such a dramatic change. The hair now curled just below her ears… a good 18 inches shorter than it had been.

“Notice anything different?” she asked.

“Yeah,” he said. “You’re in my way. I’m trying to watch the game. Do you mind?”

All the buoyant joy she’d felt drained from her in an instant.

Deflated, stunned, sick… she turned and walked away.

In the hallway she stopped, leaned against the wall. And cried. Silently but hard.

She put one hand to her puffing face, and wiped at her eyes and nose and, without even meaning to, felt her hair. Her bouncy swingy pretty young hair. She felt like an idiot. Felt like the stupidest woman in the world, having gotten her hopes up.

And then she heard the sound of springs.

And the TV clicking off.

And slow heavy footsteps.

He was coming to her.

She slumped with relief. Then smiled. Straightened up. Wiped her eyes again. Smoothed her sausage curls. Filled with a new wave of hope and excitement.

And then he stopped.

He was behind her. Not saying anything.

She could hear him breathing.

She turned around. Smiling.

“I’m going to watch in the bedroom,” he said. “There’s a fucking hair on the couch.”

Boost Your Bedroom Tips

your bed sits amid cluttered nightstands, teetering stacks of books, overflowing laundry baskets, and countless pairs of shoes. As a room that's meant to inspire sultry pillow talk and wild abandon, it's a total joke. That's why we enlisted psychologists, decorators, and even a randy culinary whiz to help us create the perfect booty chamber: one that looks harmless enough to the unsuspecting eye but is so sexually charged you won't be able to hang out in it without feeling the urge to strip naked and growl like Eartha Kitt.

1."One of the easiest ways to change your environment is with sound," says Stephanie Buehler, Psy.D., sex therapist and director of the Buehler Institute in Irvine, California. "Customize your playlist so the genre matches the mood you're in -- and the music builds to the mood you want to reach." For example, start with the soft sound of Band of Horses, shift into the sexy groove of Calexico, and graduate to the steady, pulsing rhythms of Bjrk or Portishead. (Check out our perfect playlist.)

2. A recent study in the Scandinavian Journal of Psychology found that women perform better on creative tasks when in the company of plants. Choose classically foxy flora like roses, which emit a mood-enhancing chemical called phenylethylamine, or PEA. Or, more creatively, surround yourself with lavender and lily of the valley, whose sweet fragrances, according to the Smell and Taste Treatment and Research Foundation, help increase arousal in men.

3. You don't need an expert to tell you that action on the tube can inspire real-world raunch, but Patricia Covalt, Ph.D., author of What Smart Couples Know, is happy to do so anyway. She suggests racy non-porn; we like Y tu mamá también or 9 1/2 Weeks. Open to female-focused erotica? Heat up your DVD player with Chemistry, by feminist author and sex educator Tristan Taormino.

4. When selecting duvets, pillows, and throws for steamy sex scenes, Jenny Oman, a set decorator for Showtime's sizzling series The Tudors (yes, the one starring Jonathan "Too Hot to Be Human" Rhys Myers), mixes in posh materials like velvet and satin. "Light-enhancing sheens and deep, rich colors like dark crimsons and pinks feel sensual and luxurious," she says. And get this: Less is surprisingly more when it comes to thread count. Designer Anki Spets, founder of Area linens, says a 200 to 400 thread count in high-quality cotton is ideal

VIOLET

VIOLET
Associated with:
CREATIVITY, WISDOM, INSPIRATION

Physical effects:
Suppresses appetite, provides a peaceful environment, relieves tension, and is good for migraines. Promotes inner strength, wisdom, kindness, artistic talent and creativity.

INDIGO

INDIGO
Associated with:
INTUITION, IMAGINATION, UNDERSTANDING

Physical effects:
Strengthens intuition and imagination, increases dream activity. Helps connect us to our unconscious mind.

BLUE

BLUE
Associated with:
KNOWLEDGE, RELAXATION, HEALTH

Physical effects:
Calming, lowers blood pressure and decreases respiration. Ideal for sleep and over-active children. Enhances communication and decision-making.

GREEN

GREEN
Associated with:
BALANCE, LOVE, PEACE

Physical effects:
Soothing, relaxing mentally as well as physically, helps alleviate depression, nervousness and anxiety, offers a sense of renewal, self-control and harmony.

YELLOW

YELLOW
Associated with:
AWARENESS, WISDOM, CLARITY

Physical effects:
Energizes, relieves depression, improves memory, increases awareness, perception and understanding. Also stimulates the appetite.

ORANGE

ORANGE
Associated with:
HAPPINESS, INDEPENDENCE, CONFIDENCE

Physical effects:
Energizes, stimulates the appetite and digestive system, removes inhibitions, and fosters sociability.

RED

RED
Associated with:
VITALITY, ENERGY, COURAGE

Physical effects:
Stimulates brain activity, increases heart rate, respiration and blood pressure, gives energy and self-confidence.

Red is Hot & Blue is Cool

In the late 1950s, the color researcher Robert Gerard took this a step further.

He noted that in human beings, both psychological and physical activity appear to increase as the wavelength of the light increases.

In other words, reds, oranges and yellows are just naturally more stimulating to us than greens, blues and purples.

He felt the color blue could be a supplementary therapy—for example as a tranquilizer and relaxant in anxious individuals and as a way of reducing blood pressure in the treatment of hypertension.

Later research tends to support his conclusions.

In an experiment where prisoners were randomly assigned to either red, yellow, blue or green wings, those in the blue and green wings were less inclined to violence than those in red and yellow wings.

Pink has also been found to have a tranquilizing and calming effect within minutes of exposure. It seems to suppress hostile, aggressive, and anxious behavior.

Further tests show that blood pressure, pulse, and respiration rates tend to increase most under yellow light, moderately under orange, and less under red. They decrease most under black, moderately under blue, and minimally under green.

Color also appears to affect our response to food.

For example, in fast food restaurants the décor is often designed around appetite-promoting colors, such as reds and oranges—a belief that also surfaces in traditional wisdom.


Traditional color wisdom—reaching as far back as ancient Egyptian times—offers similar conclusions, though based on a very different, non-scientific approach.

In classical Indian philosophy, for example, the seven colors of the rainbow are associated with the seven chakras (or energy centers) of the body.

Each chakra is related to a specific body function and has specific effects.

Color and Energy

Color is simply energy—energy made visible. As human beings, it's the only energy we can actually see.

The familiar spectrum of the different light wavelengths (red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo and violet) is visible when we see a rainbow, or when we view the colors created as light is refracted through a prism.

Dr. Max Lüscher, a Swiss professor of psychology and the inventor of the Lüscher Color Test, felt the significance of color originated in prehistory, when human lives were completely governed by day and night, light and dark.

Day brings bright, warm colors, with action, activity and an increase in metabolic rate. Night brings cool, dark hues, with rest, inaction and slowing down.

ROMANTIC COLORS :

ROMANTIC COLORS

Many species including the human beings attempt to attract the opposite sex with colors.

RED is the color of sex and lust and is often called the most romantic of colors. It is no

accident that red is the chosen symbolic color for the Valentine’s Day. In interior design ,

however , a less intense , softer tone of red is far more conducive to romance than the pure

hue. Often referred as PINKS , these colors vary from cool to warm and from light to dark.

Pinks have an interesting quality that seems to halt the body’s ability to stay angry. PURPLE is

another color which is definitively romantic because of its passionate , unpredictable and

quixotic characteristics. Paler , less intense tones of ORANGE such as apricot and peach are

often included in the romantic palette , suggesting purity and innocence. BLUES in the

romantic palette will be cool and inspired by water.

PERSONAL STYLE :

There are no trends in color as important as personal style. Today , most designers draw from

many historical periods as well as contemporary influences and mix them together to create

unique personal spaces. The most effective color palettes reflect and enhance the interests ,

collections and activities of the people who live there as well as architectural features.
The effects of color on mood will vary from individual to individual. Color schemes have

emotional messages too. An awareness of the emotions generated by different colors is

helpful in planning personal palettes that will be pleasant to live with , but it must be

understood that this information is not absolute. Subtle changes in tone can increase or

decrease the emotions evoked by a particular color , allowing it to be included in many

diverse palettes.

CREATING MOOD WITH COLOR - Bedroom

Color has a profound effect on our mood. In clothing , interiors , landscape and even natural light , a color can change mood from sad to happy , from confusion to intelligence , from fear to confidence. Particular colors have different effects on each individual . Response to a color may be influenced by a number of factors such as the body’s need for a specific color , a sad or happy memory associated with a color. In previous decades , certain colors or group of colors dominated every palette . Now in millenium , the stopper is out and uniqueness and personal preferences are really in. There are no absolutes in the world of color. Some colors make you want to get out of your chair , others make you want to nestle down and read. Some colors are articulate and must be listened to. Others are very quiet . Some colors indicate that you have travelled or are well read. Yet others create a desire for closeness , intimacy and love. Following are some of the most typical responses to various color groups.

NURTURING NEUTRALS :

These colors create a sense of peace and well being. They foster quiet conversation with family and friends and can dispel loneliness. Throughout time , mankind has found a sense of peace and tranquility when in touch with " Mother Earth " . It follows that colors which impart a sense of warmth and serenity come directly from the earth. In addition to the earth colors in the neutral group are colors associated with sea such as sand , shell , coral , pearl , stone , seaweed. GREEN is a color which helps us to adjust to new environments and situations. It will always be found among the ‘nurturing neutrals’. The BLUES represented here will range from winter sky to stream to midnight. The neutrals are somewhat like the furniture while other palettes are more like accents or accessories.

INTELLECTUAL COLORS :

These are the sharp , witty and unique colors which convey a message that the owner has travelled , is well read and has something to say. These colors will command respect without being overbearing. This palette also starts with a earthy , warm base. Grey is a color which promotes creativity and will often be found in foundation of an intellectual palette. These greys will be warm and gentle. Some tones of blue suggest communication and trust , so it will naturally be found in the intellectual palette. Navy blues will often find their way in this palette , but its effect is warm and never cold and fragile. Red also appears in this intellectual palette , but the shades will be earthy and complicated burgundy , cranburry.

PLAYFUL COLORS :

These colors are exiting and used for a fun providing environment These playful , whimsical palettes create their own kind of music , like the sounds of children playing. There are highs and lows , lights and darks and always movement and activity. Used in active spaces within the home , a ‘playful’ palette can add energy and vitality. But if overdone , this type of palette becomes irritating and stressful. The foundation of this palette is WHITE . This could be anywhere from vanilla ice cream to snow drift to winter moon. Then comes the bubble gum pink , buttercup , wintergreen , all the berry colors and crayon colors. Many of these colors will be cool , and even in lighter tones there will be brightness and clarity. The bottom line in creating this type of palette is that the colors should suggest a sense of freedom , play and downright fun.

HEALING COLORS :

This palette includes the colors which are very refreshing and rejuvenating. Like nurturing colors , ‘healing colors’ also begin by getting in touch with nature. The first group of colors considered in this palette is GREEN. Because they have the power to help us adjust to new environments , skillful designers use lots of plants and other forms of green . Healing greens may be warm or cool , but not muddy or mysterious like those in the intellectual palette. Healing palettes also take inspirations from warn earth tones. These palettes usually contains contrast as well as a clarity of color that is inspiring. They will include a range of lights and darks but will never be muddy.

Best Kisser

I’ve had my fair share of kisses over the years. Some, I admit, were horrible, and included things like braces, corn-chip breath, and games of tonsil hockey. But there have been some pretty sweep-me-off-my-feet kisses too, like: kissing under a sky illuminated with fireworks, a grown-up-game of spin-the-bottle (please land on green eyes—yes!), and scandalous kisses that never should have happened but felt so good. It’s no wonder, of course, that my girlfriends and I want more of the latter than the former. So listen up, guys, for some advice. Here, eight women kiss and tell…

Make sure she’s willing
“First off, does the date merit a kiss? Am I engaged in conversation with you? Am I smiling? If things seem like a go, a first kiss should be very soft. Please, no tongue! Just kiss my lips with yours. Nip at my bottom lip—just slightly tug it. Don’t be like my last first date, who licked my teeth and got my hair caught in his college ring (come to think of it—never wear a college ring on a date).”
—Alexis Derano, editorial assistant
Brush up
“I think hygiene is key. Before you attempt to kiss me ask yourself: Does your breath smell like pepperoni pizza? I don’t care if we just dined in garlic heaven—a pack of gum or tin of Altoids cost around a buck. Both fit in your pocket. Puh-lease, have fresh breath. I keep Tic-Tacs on me at all times (hint, hint)! If we go back to your place to cuddle and watch a DVD, there is nothing sexier than a guy that excuses himself to the bathroom and emerges smelling like Crest. I once kissed a guy that tasted like tuna fish. We did not go on another date.”
—Donna Tice, accessories buyer

Ration the love
“A little goes a long way, boys! A little lip, a little tongue, a little caressing of my cheekbone. For starters, give me a quick, sexy sweep. Then retreat—do not shove your tongue into my mouth. What I want now are your lips. I want long, solid smooches. Next, pull away and hold the back of my head in your palm. Look into my eyes. I’ll reciprocate—trust me.”
—Kristina Katsulous, account executive

Sneak a peck
“When just getting to know a guy, I like it when he goes in but doesn’t make it to my lips and rather dots my cheek and lip with a long, sweet, I-know-I-like-you peck. Then he pulls away and I likely blush, which is a good sign. On our next formal date, I expect full lip-on-lip contact.”
—Tina Jackson, student

Kiss me in the theater
“Take me to the movies and kiss me (just sweet pecks) at really touching moments, like when the main guy and gal realize they’re meant to be or the puppy gets saved from a burning building. It shows me you’re sensitive and totally tuned into my girly feelings. I’ll kiss you when your team scores a basket—promise.”
—Rachelle King, sales associate

Watch the hands
“Do not take my hands and put them in inappropriate places on your body while we are sharing a kiss. If I like you, my hands will be caressing your brow or tucked under your collar. And I love it if your hands are resting on my hips, holding the back of my head, sweeping my cheek with a soft, open palm, or holding my hands (personal favorite). It ruins a kiss if you take your hands and go rushing to different places. If I like you… we’ll get there.
—Willow Roberts, photographer

Sweep her off her feet—literally
“This is a little cheesy, but I love Hollywood kisses. Completely, over-the-top, theatrical kisses. Hold me, dip me, kiss me. It shows me you love to have fun (like me), and it’s so romantic. Hollywood kisses are also a great distraction from petty arguments, by the way.”
—Laura Gowzen, personal trainer

Just do it!
“My best advice is so simple: Go for it. If you get that urge, and I don’t seem that into it, who cares? Maybe I’m just zoned out for some reason, or maybe I am into you and you just aren’t picking up on my very subtle vibes. I’ve been sneak-attacked a lot with a kiss, and nine times out of ten, it turns me on!”
—Jaz Valte, publicist

Sex Education In America

The debate over whether to have sex education in American schools is over. A new poll by NPR, the Kaiser Family Foundation, and Harvard's Kennedy School of Government finds that only 7 percent of Americans say sex education should not be taught in schools. Moreover, in most places there is even little debate about what kind of sex education should be taught, although there are still pockets of controversy. Parents are generally content with whatever sex education is offered by their children's school (see Parents Approve sidebar), and public school principals, in a parallel NPR/Kaiser/Kennedy School survey, report little serious conflict over sex education in their communities nowadays. Nearly three-quarters of the principals (74 percent) say there have been no recent discussions or debate in PTA, school board or other public meetings about what to teach in sex ed. Likewise, few principals report being contacted by elected officials, religious leaders or other people in their communities about sex education.

However, this does not mean that all Americans agree on what kind of sex education is best. There are major differences over the issue of abstinence. Fifteen percent of Americans believe that schools should teach only about abstinence from sexual intercourse and should not provide information on how to obtain and use condoms and other contraception. A plurality (46 percent) believes that the most appropriate approach is one that might be called "abstinence-plus" -- that while abstinence is best, some teens do not abstain, so schools also should teach about condoms and contraception. Thirty-six percent believe that abstinence is not the most important thing, and that sex ed should focus on teaching teens how to make responsible decisions about sex.

Advocates of abstinence have had some success. Federal funds are now being made available for abstinence programs; in his State of the Union address President Bush called for an increase in the funding. And in spite of the fact that only 15 percent of Americans say they want abstinence-only sex education in the schools, 30 percent of the the principals of public middle schools and high schools where sex education is taught report that their schools teach abstinence-only. Forty-seven percent of their schools taught abstinence-plus, while 20 percent taught that making responsible decisions about sex was more important than abstinence. (Middle schools were more likely to teach abstinence-only than high schools. High schools were more likely than middle schools to teach abstinence-plus. High schools and middle schools were equally likely to teach that abstinence is not the most important thing.)

In many ways, abstinence-only education contrasts with the broad sex ed curriculum that most Americans want -- from the basics of how babies are made to how to put on a condom to how to get tested for sexually transmitted diseases. Some people thought that some topics were better suited for high school students than middle school students, or vice versa, but few thought any of the topics suggested were inappropriate at all. The most controversial topic -- "that teens can obtain birth control pills from family planning clinics and doctors without permission from a parent" -- was found to be inappropriate by 28 percent of the public, but even there, seven out of 10 (71 percent) thought it was appropriate. The other most controversial topics were oral sex (27 percent found it inappropriate) and homosexuality (25 percent). (See Table 1 in the Survey Tables sidebar.)

Interestingly, in a separate question about what schools should teach about homosexuality, only 19 percent said schools should not teach about it at all. For the most part, Americans want teachers to talk about homosexuality, but they want them to do so in a neutral way. Fifty-two percent said schools should teach "only what homosexuality is, without discussing whether it is wrong or acceptable," compared with 18 percent who said schools should teach that homosexuality is wrong and 8 percent who said schools should teach that homosexuality is acceptable.

A majority of Americans (55 percent) believes that giving teens information about how to obtain and use condoms will not encourage them to have sexual intercourse earlier than they would have otherwise (39 percent say it would encourage them), and 77 percent think such information makes it more likely the teens will practice safe sex now or in the future (only 17 percent say it will not make it more likely).

When it comes to the general approach to teaching sex and sexuality in schools, Americans divide almost evenly. Respondents were asked to choose which of two statements was closer to their belief: (1) "When it comes to sex, teenagers need to have limits set; they must be told what is acceptable and what is not." Or (2) "ultimately teenagers need to make their own decisions, so their education needs to be more in the form of providing information and guidance." Forty-seven percent selected the first statement; 51 percent selected the second. Parents of seventh and eighth graders were more likely to choose the first statement (53 percent) than the second (45 percent); parents of high school students were evenly divided. Conservatives were much more likely to choose the first statement over the second (64 percent to 32 percent), as were evangelical or born-again Christians (61 percent to 35 percent). Liberals and moderates were more likely to choose the second statement over the first (61 percent to 37 percent for liberals and 56 percent to 42 percent for moderates).

Historically, the impetus for sex education in schools was teaching children about avoiding pregnancy and keeping them safe from sexually transmitted diseases, but many parents say they are more worried about the effects of sexual activity on their child's psyche. Asked what concerns them most about their 7th-12th grade children ever having sexual intercourse, 36 percent of parents said "that they might have sexual intercourse before they are psychologically and emotionally ready." That compares with 29 percent who said their biggest concern was disease (23 percent said HIV/AIDS and 6 percent said other sexually transmitted diseases) and 23 percent who said pregnancy.

Moreover, given a list of problems teens might face, nearly half (48 percent) of all Americans chose as the biggest problem "use of alcohol and other illegal drugs," which was double the number who chose any sex-related problem (9 percent said unwanted pregnancy, 8 percent said getting HIV/AIDS, and 4 percent said getting other STDs).

Just as the initial impetus for sex education in schools came from health advocates, the historical impetus for abstinence education has come from evangelical or born-again Christians. In general, evangelical or born-again Christians have very different views from other Americans about sex and sexuality. Eighty-one percent of evangelical or born-again Christians believe it is morally wrong for unmarried adults to engage in sexual intercourse, compared with 33 percent of other Americans. Likewise, 78 percent of evangelical or born-again Christians believe that sexual activity outside of marriage is likely to have harmful psychological and physical effects; 46 percent of other Americans believe this. Moreover, such Christians are much more likely to believe that school-age children should abstain from almost any kind of arousal: 56 percent include passionate kissing among the activities they should abstain from; 31 percent of the rest of the population say that. (See Table 2 in the Survey Tables sidebar.)

Evangelical or born-again Christians also have different views on many questions about sex education. Twelve percent of them say sex education should not be taught in schools -- a small number, but three times the percentage found among non-evangelicals (4 percent). Moreover, more than twice as many evangelicals as non-evangelicals (49 percent to 21 percent) believe the government should fund abstinence-only programs instead of using the money for more comprehensive sex education. And on what should be taught in sex ed classes, evangelicals are much more likely than non-evangelicals to think certain topics are inappropriate. (See Table 3 in the Survey Tables sidebar.)

Interestingly, there are some differences between white and non-white evangelicals -- not on questions about sex or sexuality, but on questions about sex education. On some sex education questions, non-white evangelicals are closer to non-evangelicals than they are to white evangelicals. For instance, while 23 percent of non-Latino white evangelicals believe it is inappropriate for sex ed classes to teach where to get and how to use contraceptives, only 13 percent of non-white evangelicals believe this, compared with 8 percent of non-evangelicals. (The other items in Table 3 were asked of half-samples of the survey, and there were not enough non-white evangelicals in the half-samples to make accurate comparisons.) Likewise, asked about the best method to teach sex ed, 27 percent of non-Latino white evangelicals prefer abstinence-only. Fewer than half as many non-white evangelicals (12 percent) prefer abstinence-only, which is in line with non-evangelicals (10 percent).

Other interesting findings from the survey:

Adult Americans define abstinence broadly. The survey asked respondents whether they agreed or disagreed with the statement, "Abstinence from sexual activity outside marriage is the expected standard for all school-age children." Sixty-two percent of Americans agreed with the statement, which is a principle that must be taught in federally funded abstinence education programs; 36 percent disagreed. Regardless of respondents' answer to that question, they then were asked how they were defining the word abstinence when they answered it. Did they include abstaining from sexual intercourse? Oral sex? Intimate touching? Passionate kissing? Masturbation? A large percentage of Americans said yes to all of those, with 63 percent thinking abstinence included abstaining from intimate touching, 40 percent thinking it included abstaining from passionate kissing, and 44 percent thinking it included abstaining from masturbation. (See Table 2 in the Survey Tables sidebar.) As suggested earlier, born-again or evangelical Christians (of all races) were more likely to say yes to the last three than other Americans.

Parents think their daughters are better prepared to deal with sexual issues than their sons. In the course of this survey, parents of children in grades 7 through 12 were asked a number of questions about one of their children (if they had more than one in that age group, the child was chosen randomly). One of those questions was, "How well prepared do you feel your (x-grade) child is to deal with sexual issues -- very prepared, somewhat prepared, not very prepared, or not at all prepared?" Sixty percent of parents said their daughter was very prepared; only 36 percent said the same of their son. Interestingly, fathers (60 percent) were as likely as mothers (59 percent) to say their daughter was very prepared. However, fathers (23 percent) were much less likely than mothers (45 percent) to say their son was very prepared. (Whether the child had attended sex education in school made no difference in parents' assessments.) In answering the question about what worries parents most about their child ever having sexual intercourse, parents of girls (41 percent) were more likely to place psychological well-being as their top concern than were parents of boys (31 percent). Parents of girls were not more likely than parents of boys to choose pregnancy or disease.

There is no double standard regarding how long Americans think boys or girls should wait to have sex, but adults don't think either boys or girls will actually wait that long. Forty-seven percent think girls should wait until they are married to have sexual intercourse, and 44 percent think boys should wait until they are married; the difference is not statistically significant. Nearly nine out of 10 (89 percent), though, don't think girls will wait that long; the number is similar for boys (91 percent). The responses were similar when people were asked about oral sex; they said boys and girls should wait, but probably won't. Again, there was little difference between people asked about boys and those asked about girls. About one out of six people said that boys (16 percent) and girls (18 percent) should never experience oral sex, but they also were likely to say that it was not a realistic expectation.

Methodology

The NPR/Kaiser/Kennedy School National Survey on Sex Education is part of an ongoing project of National Public Radio, the Henry J. Kaiser Family Foundation, and Harvard University’s Kennedy School of Government. Representatives of the three sponsors worked together to develop the survey questionnaire and to analyze the results, with NPR maintaining sole editorial control over its broadcasts on the surveys. The project team includes:

From NPR: Marcus D. Rosenbaum, Senior Editor; Susan Davis, Associate Editor; Ellen Guettler, Assistant Editor

From the Kaiser Family Foundation: Drew Altman, President and Chief Executive Officer; Matt James, Senior Vice President of Media and Public Education and Executive Director of kaisernetwork.org; Mollyann Brodie, Vice President, Director of Public Opinion and Media Research; and Rebecca Levin, Research Associate

From the Kennedy School: Robert J. Blendon, a Harvard University professor who holds joint appointments in the School of Public Health and the Kennedy School of Government; Stephen R. Pelletier, Research Coordinator for the Harvard Opinion Research Program; John M. Benson, Managing Director of the Harvard Opinion Research Program; and Elizabeth Mackie, Research Associate

The results of this project are based on two nationwide telephone surveys: a survey of the general public and a survey of school principals. The survey of the general public was conducted among a random nationally representative sample of 1,759 respondents 18 years of age or older, including an oversample of parents of children in 7th through the 12th grade, which resulted in interviews with 1001 parents. Statistical results for the total survey were weighted to be representative of the national population. The margin of sampling error for the survey is plus or minus 3 percentage points for total respondents and plus or minus 4.7 percentage points for parents. The survey of principals was conducted among 303 principals of public middle, junior and senior high schools across the country. Schools were randomly and proportionally selected from a national database of public schools by type of school (middle, junior and senior high). Statistical results were weighted to be representative of public middle, junior and senior high schools in the United States based on geographic region and type of residential area (urban, suburban, non-metropolitan). The margin of sampling error for the survey is plus or minus 6 percentage points for total respondents. For results based on subsets of respondents the margin of error is higher.

Teachers on Sex Education

With more and more sex ed teachers focusing on abstinence - often against their better judgment - many students are not receiving the kind of information those very teachers feel they need, according to research by the Alan Guttmacher Institute.

In 1988 just one teacher out of 50 taught that abstinence was the only way to avoid getting pregnant or acquiring a sexually transmitted disease. That compares to one out of four in 1999, according to surveys of teachers conducted by the institute and published in an article in Family Planning Perspectives in 2000. (More recent research by the institute estimates that about 35 percent of teachers follow an abstinence-only curriculum today.) Yet, despite the growing popularity of abstinence-only curricula, nine out of 10 sex education teachers say they believe students need to learn about contraception. Teachers surveyed in 1999 were less likely to teach a curriculum that included information on birth control, abortion, contraceptive services, treatment of sexually transmitted diseases, and sexual orientation than teachers polled in 1988. In 1988, for example, 87 percent of teachers "taught that condoms can be an effective means of preventing STDs and HIV for sexually active individuals." That compares with 59 percent in 1999. One in four teachers reported being told not to teach about contraception; one in three said they did not teach about contraception because they feared "negative community reaction."

Finally, according to researchers, many teachers teaching an abstinence-only sex education curriculum "did not appear to accept the notion that contraceptive use is unacceptable for young people." For example, "Among teachers who instructed students that abstinence is the only means of avoiding pregnancy and STDs, four in 10 also taught that birth control can be effective in preventing pregnancy or that condoms can be effective in preventing HIV and other STDs."

Talking to your teen about sex

Is your teenager ready to make tough choices about sex? Uncomfortable as it may be, sex education is your responsibility. Here's help getting started.

You understand the importance of sex education. But don't count on classroom instruction alone. Although the basics may be covered in health class, your child might not hear — or understand — everything he or she needs to know. That's where you come in. Awkward as it may be, sex education is a parent's responsibility. By reinforcing and supplementing what your child learns in school, you can help your child make good decisions about sex.
Breaking the ice

Sex is a staple of news, entertainment and advertising. It's often hard to avoid this ever-present topic. But when parents and children need to talk, it isn't always so easy. If you wait for the perfect moment, you might miss the best opportunities. Instead, think of sex education as an ongoing conversation. Here are some ideas to help you get started — and keep the discussion going.

* Seize the moment. When a TV program or music video raises issues about responsible sexual behavior, use it as a springboard for discussion. If a good topic comes up at an inconvenient time, say you'd like to talk more about it later — then actually do so.
* Keep it low-key. Don't pressure your child to talk about sex. Simply broach the subject when you're alone with your child. Sometimes everyday moments — such as riding in the car, putting away groceries or sharing a late-night snack — offer the best opportunities to talk.
* Be honest. If you're uncomfortable, say so — but explain that it's important to keep talking. If you don't know how to answer your child's questions, offer to find the answers or look them up together.
* Be direct. Clearly state your feelings about specific issues, such as oral sex and intercourse. Present the risks objectively, including emotional pain, sexually transmitted diseases and unplanned pregnancy. Explain that oral sex isn't a risk-free alternative to intercourse.
* Consider your child's point of view. Don't lecture your child or rely on scare tactics to discourage sexual activity. Instead, listen carefully. Understand your child's pressures, challenges and concerns.
* Move beyond the facts. Your child needs accurate information about sex. But it's just as important to talk about feelings, attitudes and values. Examine questions of ethics and responsibility in the context of your personal or religious beliefs.
* Invite more discussion. Let your child know that it's OK to talk with you about sex whenever he or she has questions or concerns. Reward questions by saying, "I'm glad you came to me."

Addressing tough topics

Sex education includes abstinence, date rape, homosexuality and other tough topics. Be prepared for questions like these:

* How will I know I'm ready for sex? Various factors — peer pressure, curiosity and loneliness, to name a few — steer some teenagers into early sexual activity. But there's no rush. Remind your child that it's OK to wait. Sex is an adult behavior. In the meantime, there are many other ways to express affection — intimate talks, long walks, holding hands, listening to music, dancing, kissing, touching and hugging.
* What if my boyfriend or girlfriend wants to have sex, but I don't? Explain that no one should have sex out of a sense of obligation or fear. Any form of forced sex is rape, whether the perpetrator is a stranger or someone your child has been dating. Impress upon your child that no always means no. Emphasize that alcohol and drugs impair judgment and reduce inhibitions, leading to situations in which date rape is more likely to occur.
* What if I think I'm gay? Many teens wonder at some point whether they're gay or bisexual. Help your child understand that he or she is just beginning to explore sexual attraction. These feelings may change as time goes on. Above all, however, let your child know that you love him or her unconditionally. Praise your child for sharing his or her feelings.

Responding to behavior

If your child becomes sexually active — whether you think he or she is ready or not — it may be more important than ever to keep the conversation going. State your feelings and calmly explain your objections. You might say, "I'm disappointed in your decision to have sex. I don't think it's appropriate or healthy for you to have sex right now. But the decision is yours. I expect you to take the associated responsibilities seriously."

Stress the importance of safe sex, and make sure your child understands how to use contraception. You might talk about keeping a sexual relationship exclusive, not only as a matter of trust and respect but also to reduce the risk of sexually transmitted diseases. Also set and enforce reasonable boundaries, such as curfews and rules about visits from friends of the opposite sex.

Your child's doctor can help, too. A routine checkup can give your child the opportunity to address sexual activity and other behaviors in a supportive, confidential atmosphere.

Talking to toddlers and preschoolers about sex

Sex education is a topic many parents would prefer to avoid. And if you have young children, you might think you're off the hook — at least for a while. But that's not necessarily true. Sex education can begin anytime. Let your children set the pace with their questions.
Early exploration

As children learn to walk and talk, they also begin to learn about their bodies. Open the door to sex education by teaching your children the proper names for their sex organs, perhaps during bath time. If your children point to a body part, simply tell them what it is. This is also a good time to talk about which parts of the body are private.

When your children ask questions about their bodies — or yours — don't giggle, laugh or get embarrassed. Take their questions at face value. Offer direct, age-appropriate responses. If your children want to know more, they'll ask.
Expect self-stimulation

Many toddlers express their natural sexual curiosity through self-stimulation. Boys may pull at their penises, and girls may rub their external genitalia. Teach your children that masturbation is a normal — but private — activity. If your child starts masturbating in public, try to distract him or her. If that fails, take your child aside for a reminder about the importance of privacy.

Sometimes, frequent masturbation can indicate a problem in a child's life. Perhaps he or she feels anxious or isn't receiving enough attention at home. It can even be a sign of sexual abuse. Teach your children that no one is allowed to touch the private parts of their bodies without permission. If you're concerned about your child's behavior, consult his or her doctor.
Curiosity about others

By age 3 or 4, children often realize that boys and girls have different genitals. As natural curiosity kicks in, you may find your children playing "doctor" or examining each other's sex organs. This exploration is far removed from adult sexual activity, and it's harmless when only young children are involved. As a family matter, however, you may want to set limits on such exploration.
Everyday moments are key

Take advantage of everyday opportunities to discuss sex. If there's a pregnancy in the family, for example, tell your children that babies grow in a special place inside the mother. If your children want more details on how the baby got there or how the baby will be born, offer them.

Consider these examples:

* How do babies get inside a mommy's tummy? You might say: "A mom and a dad make a baby by holding each other in a special way."
* How are babies born? For some kids, it might be enough to say: "Doctors and nurses help babies who are ready to be born." If your children want more details, you might say: "Usually a mom pushes the baby out of her vagina."
* Why doesn't everyone have a penis? Try a simple explanation, such as: "Boys and girls bodies are made differently."
* Why do you have hair down there? Simplicity often works here, too. You might say: "Our bodies change as we get older." If your children want more details, add: "Boys grow hair near their penises, and girls grow hair near their vaginas."

As your children mature and ask more detailed questions, you can provide more detailed responses. Answer specific questions using correct terminology. Even if you're uncomfortable, forge ahead. Remember, you're setting the stage for open, honest discussions in the years to come.

Healthy Sex

What is Healthy Sex?

Sexual energy is a powerful, very natural force in our lives. But like any natural force we encounter -- be it wind, sun, rain, or our own laughter -- our sexual energy has the potential to be channeled and experienced in either destructive or life-affirming ways.

Healthy sex involves the conscious, positive expression of our sexual energy in ways that enhance self-esteem, physical health, and emotional relationship. It is mutually beneficial and harms no one.



Negative influences and problems

Unfortunately, we live in a society that constantly bombards us with images of sex that have very little to do with healthy sexuality. In movies, on television, in books, over the Internet, and in magazines, we are exposed to countless examples of impulsive, irresponsible, uncaring sex. People are treated as sex objects and sex is often portrayed as a form of power and control over another person. It’s no wonder that many of us have experienced some tragic consequences of poorly channeled sexual energy, such as sexual abuse, sexual addiction, porn problems, sexual exploitation, sexually transmitted disease, unwanted pregnancy, and/or chronic sexual unhappiness.

The number of people harmed by sexual experiences is staggering. Studies in the United States reveal that:
1 in 3 females are sexually abused in childhood.
1 in 5-7 males are sexually abused in childhood.
1 in 4 women are raped sometime in their lifetime.
1 in 2 sexually active people will contract a sexually transmitted disease by twenty-five years of age.
1 in 4 people suffer from a sexually transmitted disease sometime in their lives.
1 in 3 women have at least one abortion by the time they are forty-five years of age.
1 in 7-10 people develop a sexual addiction.
1 in 5 women and 1 in 10 men report that sex gives them no pleasure.


What’s been missing

Most of the sex education available in the world today, focuses on reproduction, birth control and disease prevention. While this is important information, it stops short of helping us learn what we need to know to prevent sexual abuse, addiction, and dissatisfaction. In addition, many of us need new information to overcome problems caused by past sexual hurts so that we can go on to experience healthy and deeply satisfying sexual intimacy with a partner.



As sex and relationship therapists, we speak with many people who have trouble conceptualizing healthy sexuality. They want to know: “How does healthy sex differ from sexual abuse?”, “How does healthy sex differ from sexual addiction?”, and “What are the conditions necessary to ensure that the sex I’m experiencing is good for me and for my sexual partner?”

Abortion Facts

Abortion Facts

Abortion is the medically induced, premature death of a pre-born baby in the womb. There are several methods used:

* Suction Aspiration
The method of abortion most commonly used in first trimester abortions. A powerful vacuum suction tube is put into the dilated uterus. The suction tears the soft baby apart and removes it from the uterus.
* Dilation and Curettage (D&C)
The dilation of the cervix which permits the insertion of a sharp surgical instrument will be used to dismember the baby's developing body.
* Dilatation and Evacuation (D&E)
Used after 12 weeks, this method is identical to the D&C method except that forceps are used to twist and tear away the body that now has calcified bones.
* Salt Poisoning (Saline Injection)
Used after 16 weeks. A long needle is inserted into the mothers abdomen into the baby's sac. The baby breathes in swallowing the deadly toxin and is poisoned. The mother delivers a dead or dying baby.
* Prostaglandin
Hormones, developed by the Upjohn Pharmaceutical Co., are injected into the amniotic sac to induce contractions. In an article about this method, one of the complications listed was 'live birth'.
* Hysterectomy
Similar to a Cesarean Section, this method employed by abortionists almost always results in a live birth. The baby is left to die by neglect or direct art.
* Dilatation and Extraction (D&X)
By pulling on the baby's legs with forceps, the legs arc delivered, followed by the torso, arms and shoulders. The baby's head 'usually' remains inside the uterus. Using blunt-tipped surgical scissors, the baby's skull is pierced where a suction catheter is inserted to extract the 'skull contents.' Fetal brains and organs are used for fetal 'tissue' experimentation.

No Safe Abortions

There is no such thing as "a safe legal abortion." Abortion is a decriminalized crime against humanity.

Many women often experience debilitating physical and psychological complications. As Christians, we know Jesus Christ will forgive us of all confessed and repented sin. Unfortunately, some women and men have a hard time
forgiving themselves and are thus hindered in their growth.

Viability

What is viability?

It is that stage of fetal development when the baby is "potentially able to live outside the mother’s womb [that is, can survive], albeit with artificial help." Roe vs. Wade, U.S. Supreme Court, 1973, p. 45

Can you use viability as a measure of when the baby is human and therefore has the right to live?

No! To do so is completely illogical. 50 years ago viability was at 30 weeks. 25 years ago it had dropped to 25 weeks. Today we have a survivor at 20 weeks and several at 21 weeks.

But the babies haven’t changed. Mothers are making the same kind of babies they always did. But they are surviving earlier.

Why?

Because of a vast increase in the sophistication of the external life support systems around the baby. Because of neonatal intensive care units. Because of greater knowledge and skill of the doctors and nurses.

So what is viability?

It is a measure of the sophistication of the external life support systems around the baby. It is not a measure of his humanness or of his right to live.

But where did this idea come from?

From ancient times. Until the 19th century, it was assumed that the baby was not alive in the first half of pregnancy. It was also "known" that when the mother "felt life," when "the babe doth stir," that at that time the baby "came alive." Two examples show this: Abortion was always a sin in the Christian Church. A penitent confessing this sin was given a penance to perform. The penance for the sin of a late abortion was always more severe than one for an early abortion. Why? Because in the late abortion she had killed a baby who was alive. English Common Law succeeded ecclesiastic law and followed the same pattern. Abortion in the first half of pregnancy was a minor crime, a misdemeanor. Abortion after she felt life, after "quickening," was a felony, a serious crime.

Has that law changed?

Yes. In the early 1900s it was discovered that the baby’s life began at conception, not at quickening (Karl Ernst Van Boar, 1827). Accordingly, in 1869 the British changed their law, dropped the felony punishment back to conception, and the two-tier punishment policy was eliminated.

But the old idea still lives on?

Amazingly, yes. Any lawmaker today who supports protecting babies’ lives only after viability is still living in the middle ages, in prescientific times.

How do you measure age of survival?

The age of a premature baby at birth is measured by age from first day of last menstrual period (LMP). Weight is also a measure when the dates are uncertain, a 20-to 22-week-old baby has an average weight of 500-600 gm (1 lb., 2 oz. to 1 lb., 5 oz.) with "normals" varying from 400 to 700 gm (14 oz. to 1 lb., 9 oz.). There are also other maturation factors that are used, such as various measurements made on ultrasound examination.

The age and weight don’t always track together?

There is a variance, just as with children and adults, but a much narrower one. Dr. L. Lubchenco, University of Colorado, has been the recognized authority in preparing most of the charts used. Babies can be small for stated age or "runts," if malnourished. They can also be large for stated age, but still fall within the 90 percentile range on the charts.

Will the survival age ever drop under 20 weeks?

It seems that we have probably reached the youngest age at which the baby’s lungs are well enough developed to exchange oxygen. One happy advance has been the use of surfactant in their lungs. This has meant babies under 1500 gm at birth are 30% less likely to die. Effect of Surfactant . . . in newborn infants weighing 500-1500 gm, Schwartz et al., N. Eng. J. Med., 1994; 330 (21): 1476-80 Decreasing Mortality with Surfactant . . . J.Horbar et al., Pediatrics, Vol.92, No.2, Aug ’93, Pg. 191

A further advance may be using oxygen saturated liquid instead of air. J.Greenspan et al., Liquid Ventilation of Preterm Baby, Lancet, Nov 4, ’89, No. 8671,1095 C. Leach, Partial Liquid Ventilation, N. Eng. J. Med., Sept. 12, ’96

Beyond this it is probably only a question of time and technology. Some day there will be artificial placentas, and then who knows how early a preemie will be able to survive?

How young can a premature baby survive?

It depends first upon the existence of a high-tech neonatal intensive care nursery. Almost all medical centers in the developed world have these. The other factor is the baby. Some top notch medical centers just haven’t yet been blessed with the birth of a child so well developed at an unusually young age that he (or she) can survive at, say, 20 to 22 weeks.

How Abortion Done?

WHAT KIND AND HOW?

Spontaneous abortions are usually called miscarriages. Most occur at home with little danger to the mother. There is sometimes excessive bleeding, however, or incomplete emptying of the uterus requiring hospitalization, during which the surgeon must gently tease the rotting remnants of the placenta (afterbirth) from the inside walls of the womb with a blunt instrument. Even when this procedure (called a D&C) is needed, there is rarely damage to the mother because the cervix (womb opening) is already softened and partly opened. Infection is rare. Baby parts are seldom found.

What kind of induced abortions are there?

In the first week there are micro-abortions caused by "contraceptive" drugs and devices (see Chapters 19 and 35). After implantation there are those induced by drugs such as RU 486, Methotrexate and prostaglandins (see Chapter 19).

In the first trimester there are surgical abortions like suction and D&C.

In the second and third trimesters there are instillation types, D&E, intracardiac injections and partial birth abortions.

What are the first trimester surgical ones?

There are several types:

- Menstrual extraction:

This is a very early suction abortion, often done before the pregnancy test is positive.

- Suction-aspiration:

In this method, the abortionist must first paralyze the cervical muscle ring (womb opening) and then stretch it open. This is difficult because it is hard or "green" and not ready to open. He then inserts a hollow plastic tube, which has a knife-like edge on the tip, into the uterus. The suction tears the baby’s body into pieces. He then cuts the deeply rooted placenta from the inner wall of the uterus. The scraps are sucked out into a bottle (see color photo in back of book). The suction is 29 times more powerful than a home vacuum cleaner.

- Dilatation & Curettage (D&C):

This is similar to the suction procedure except that the abortionist inserts a curette, a loop-shaped steel knife, up into the uterus. With this, he cuts the placenta and baby into pieces and scrapes them out into a basin. Bleeding is usually profuse.

What are second trimester ones?

In the 1970s and ’80s the most common type was saline amniocentesis, or salt poisoning abortions.

These are not used much anymore because of danger to the mother. These are done after the 16th week. A large needle is inserted through the abdominal wall of the mother and into the baby’s amniotic sac. A concentrated salt solution is injected into the amniotic fluid. The baby breathes and swallows it, is poisoned, struggles, and sometimes convulses. It takes over an hour to kill the baby. When successful, the mother goes into labor about one day later and delivers a dead baby.

Is it actually poisoning?

Yes. The mechanism of death is acute hypernatremia or acute salt poisoning, with development of wide-spread vasodilatation, edema, congestion, hemorrhage, shock, and death. Galen et al., "Fetal Pathology and Mechanism of Death in Saline Abortion, Amer. Jour. of OB&GYN,1974, vol. 120, pp. 347-355

And other methods?

In the ’70s and ’80s, prostaglandin drugs were used to induce violent premature labor and delivery. When used alone, there was: "...a large complication rate (42.6%) is associated with its use. Few risks in obstetrics are more certain than that which occurs to a pregnant woman undergoing abortion after the 14th week of pregnancy." Duenhoelter & Grant, "Complications Following Prostaglandin F-2 Alpha Induced Mid-trimester Abortion." Jour. of OB & GYN, Sept. 1975

Because of these problems, the D&E or Dilatation & Evacuation method was developed and largely replaced the above. It involves the live dismemberment of the baby and piecemeal removal from below.

A pliers-like instrument is used because the baby’s bones are calcified, as is the skull. There is no anesthetic for the baby. The abortionist inserts the instrument up into the uterus, seizes a leg or other part of the body, and, with a twisting motion, tears it from the baby’s body. This is repeated again and again. The spine must be snapped, and the skull crushed to remove them. The nurse’s job is to reassemble the body parts to be sure that all are removed.

This sounds dangerous.

It is, but a report from the U.S. Center for Disease Control, Dept. HEW, stated that it is still safer for the mother than the salt-poisoning or Prostaglandin method. "Comparative Risks of Three Methods of Midtrimester Abortion," Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report, Center for Disease Control, HEW, Nov. 26, 1976

It is reported that every year about 100,000 women are aborted by the D&E method, between 13 and 24 weeks gestation. Of this, 500 have "serious complications." This was still judged to have a "lower risk of morbidity and mortality than the infusion procedures." MacKay et al., "Safety of Local vs General Anesthesia for Second Trimester D&E Abortions" OB-GYN, vol. 66, no. 5, Nov.1985, p. 661

Any new methods?

Yes, intracardiac injections. Since the advent of fertility drugs, multi-fetal pregnancies have become common. "The frequency of triplet and higher pregnancies . . . has increased 200% since the early 1970s."

Since these are usually born prematurely and some have other problems, a new method has been developed. Assisted Repro. Techniques . . . , L. Wilcox, Fertl. & Sterility, vol. 65, #2, Feb. ’96, pg. 361

At about 4 months a needle is inserted through the mother’s abdomen, into the chest and heart of one of the fetal babies and a poison injected to kill him or her. This is "pregnancy reduction." It is done to reduce the number or to kill a handicapped baby, if such is identified. If successful, the dead baby’s body is absorbed.

Sometimes, however, this method results in the loss of all of the babies.

Are there 3rd trimester abortions?

A more recently developed method here is the partial birth abortion, also called "brain suction" or "D&X" methods.

- These are done after 4 or 5 months.

- 80% of babies are normal.

- Most babies are viable.

This is like a breech delivery. The entire infant is delivered except the head. A scissors is jammed into the base of the skull. A tube is inserted into the skull, and the brain is sucked out. The now-dead infant is pulled out. The drawings illustrate this.

9313PB_A.JPG (7659 bytes)

9313PB_B.JPG (7042 bytes)

9313PB_C.JPG (8459 bytes)

Perhaps it’s her only choice.

"There are no medical circumstances in which a partial-birth abortion is the only safe alternative. We take care of pregnant women who are very sick, and babies who are very sick, and we never perform partial-birth abortions. . . . There are plenty of alternatives. . . . This is clearly a procedure no obstetrician needs to do." F. Boehm, Dr. OB, Vanderbilt U. Med. The Washington Times, May 6, 1966, p. A1

But isn’t it the safest?

To do this was called a "version & breech delivery." This was abandoned decades ago as it was too dangerous. Instead today the much safer Cesarean Section is used. Dr. Warren Hern, author of the late term abortion medical text said, "I would dispute any statement that this is the safest procedure to use. The procedure can cause amniotic fluid embolism or placental abruption." AMA News, Nov. 20, 1995, p. 3

Dr. Pamela Smith, Director of Medical Education, Dept. of Ob-Gyn at Mt. Sinai Hospital in Chicago, has stated: "There are absolutely no obstetrical situations encountered in this country which would require partial- birth abortion to preserve the life or health of the mother." And she adds two more risks: cervical incompetence in subsequent pregnancies caused by three days of forceful dilation of the cervix, and uterine rupture caused by rotating the fetus in the womb. Joseph DeCook, Fellow, Am. Col., Ob/Gyn, founder of PHACT (Physicians Ad Hoc Coalition for Truth), stated: "There is no literature that testifies to the safety of partial birth abortions. It’s a maverick procedure devised by maverick doctors who wish to deliver a dead fetus. Such abortions could lead to infection causing sterility." Also, "Drawing out the baby in breech position is a very dangerous procedure and could tear the uterus. Such a ruptured uterus could cause the mother to bleed to death in ten minutes.".."The puncturing of the child’s skull produces bone shards that could puncture the uterus." (Congressman Charles Canady (R-FL), 7/23).

But why kill the infant?

You’ve said it! Obviously the mother wants to get unpregnant. Even if this is accepted, we must still ask, why kill? Most of these babies are viable. They are only 3 or 4 inches (10 cm) from delivery. One gentle pull and the head will come out. Then the cord could be cut, and the infant given to the nurse to take to the intensive care nursery.

There is absolutely no medical reason to kill the baby except that the mother wants him dead.

Are there videos?

Two excellent videos are "The Procedure" by Don Donahey on partial birth abortion and "Eclipse of Reason" by B. Nathanson, both obtainable through a Right to Life Office.

What about toxemia, serious diabetes, etc., in late pregnancy?

In these cases the pregnancy may have to be terminated to save the mother’s life. But left alone, both might die. Treatment here is not abortion but premature delivery. This attempts to save both lives.

Is surgery on an ectopic pregnancy an abortion?

Some do define this as an abortion, and this is one reason why Right to Life people usually accept a "life of the mother" exception to laws that would forbid abortion.

By the time most ectopic surgery is done, the developing baby is dead and often destroyed by the hemorrhage. In any case, such surgery is done primarily to prevent the death of the mother. This is good medical practice because there is no chance for the baby to survive. Even if a yet-alive, tiny baby were removed from the tube, the Right to Life movement would allow this, for without the procedure, both would die. The baby has a zero chance of survival. The surgery will save the mother’s life. If medical technology were advanced enough to allow transplanting the baby from its pathological location, and placing it into the uterus, then most ethicists would say this should be done. Since this is not possible with present technology, the tiny new baby’s life today is lost.

How about removal or treatment of a cancerous or of a traumatized pregnant uterus, or of some other organ while the mother is pregnant?

The same applies. Surgery is done or treatment is given to prevent the death of the mother. The death of the baby, if it occurs, would be an unfortunate and undesired secondary effect. If at all possible, the baby should also be saved.

New Treatment Guidelines for Pregnant Women with Asthma

The National Asthma Education and Prevention Program (NAEPP) is issuing the first new guidelines in more than a decade for managing asthma during pregnancy. The report reflects new medications that have emerged and updates treatment recommendations for pregnant women with asthma based on a systematic review of data on the safety of asthma medications during pregnancy. An executive summary ("Quick Reference") of the guidelines is published in the January issue of the "Journal of Allergy & Clinical Immunology".

Poorly controlled asthma can lead to serious medical problems for pregnant women and their fetuses. The guidelines emphasize that controlling asthma during pregnancy is important for the health and well-being of the mother as well as for the healthy development of the fetus. A stepwise approach to asthma care similar to that used in the NAEPP general asthma treatment guidelines for children and nonpregnant adults is recommended. Under this approach, medication is stepped up in intensity if needed, and stepped down when possible, depending on asthma severity. Because asthma severity changes during pregnancy for most women, the guidelines also recommend that clinicians who provide obstetric care monitor asthma severity during prenatal visits of their patients who have asthma.

"The guidelines review the evidence on asthma medications used by pregnant patients," said Barbara Alving, M.D., acting director of the National Heart, Lung, and Blood Institute (NHLBI), which administers the NAEPP. "The evidence is reassuring, and suggests that it is safer to take medications than to have asthma exacerbations. The guidelines should be a useful tool for physicians to develop optimal asthma management plans for pregnant women."

"Simply put, when a pregnant patient has trouble breathing, her fetus also has trouble getting the oxygen it needs," added William W. Busse, M.D., professor of medicine at the University of Wisconsin Medical School, and chair of the NAEPP multidisciplinary expert panel that developed the guidelines. "There are many ways we can help pregnant women control their asthma, and it is imperative that providers and their patients work together to do so."

Asthma affects over 20 million Americans and is one of the most common potentially serious medical conditions to complicate pregnancy. Maternal asthma is associated with increased risk of infant death, preeclampsia (a serious condition marked by high blood pressure, which can cause seizures in the mother or fetus), premature birth, and low- birth weight. These risks are linked to asthma severity - more severe asthma increases risk, while better controlled asthma is tied to decreased risks.

Asthma worsens in approximately 30 percent of women who have mild asthma at the beginning of their pregnancy, according to a recent study by the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development Maternal-Fetal Medicine Units Network and cofunded by NHLBI. The study also found that, conversely, asthma improved in 23 percent of the women who initially had moderate or severe asthma.

"We cannot predict who will worsen during pregnancy, so the new guidelines recommend that pregnant patients with persistent asthma have their asthma checked at least monthly by a healthcare provider," explained Mitchell Dombrowski, M.D., chief of obstetrics and gynecology for St. John Hospital in Detroit, and a member of the NAEPP expert panel. "Clinicians who provide obstetric care should be part of the patient's asthma management team, working with the patient and her asthma care provider to adjust her medications if needed to keep her asthma under control and to lower the risk of complications from asthma for her and her baby."

WOMENSSEXUALHEALTH

SEXUAL ASSAULT: FIRST REACTION:
Immediately after the attack, you'll probably feel confused and extremely afraid. A few hours later, these feelings will give way to depression, exhaustion, and restlessness. In about two weeks, you'll begin to feel better emotionally; but three weeks later, your symptoms may worsen again.

You may experience severe bouts of fear and depression and have problems with self-esteem, social adjustment, and sexual dysfunction for up to 18 months after the assault. These symptoms will probably last at least 6 years. Women who were raped as children may repress the memory, only to have it resurface full-force years later.

It's important to talk with a professional about your assault and your reactions to it. A psychiatrist, therapist, or counselor specially trained to work with rape victims can help you understand that you really are the victim and are not to blame for what happened. Vent your anger, fear, desperation, even guilt—and discuss how you feel about the attack at the present time. In that way you can learn how to deal with your emotions and get on with your life.

EXAMINATION:
Next, a doctor will examine your vagina and treat anything that needs attention. He or she will also look for semen or other signs of sexual intercourse and take samples of secretions from all areas involved in the attack.

A doctor, nurse, or technician will trim and comb your pubic hair to check for foreign tissue or fluids. You may be asked for a blood sample to test for the presence of alcohol or other drugs and a urine sample to find out if you were pregnant before the assault.

AT THE EMERGENCY ROOM:
You will probably speak to a nurse or other emergency room personnel before the doctor sees you. First they will ask routine questions about your vital statistics, medical insurance, allergies, and the type of birth control you use. They also need to know whether you're in pain, when you last had sex before the rape, and the date of your last period. By finding out how recently you menstruated, they can determine how likely it is that the attacker made you pregnant.
They will also ask questions about the assault; for example, whether the rapist used a condom, whether he bled or had an ejaculation, and whether you scratched him. Tell the doctor or nurses everything you recall. If you're not sure of the details, simply say you don't remember. The answers you give to their questions may become part of the record if you go to court.

A nurse may also take pictures of your visible injuries. (Sometimes it takes several days for bruises and other injuries to appear, so you will want to ask a friend to take instant photographs of anything that shows up after your hospital visit.)

FIRST PRIORITY:
Even if you think you're all right, see your own doctor or go to the hospital emergency room as soon as possible after the rape. The assault may have left you with undetected injuries that need prompt treatment. After examining you thoroughly, the physician will perform tests for sexually transmitted diseases and pregnancy and will collect evidence you'll need if you decide to prosecute the attacker. Since some of this evidence is lost after 36 hours, it's especially important to get immediate medical attention.

Do not shower, douche, change clothes, or otherwise try to clean up before going to the emergency room. Bring along a change of clothes; the ones you were wearing during the attack will be kept for evidence. You may want to take a trusted friend, a family member, or a rape crisis worker with you for support.
Kelly seemed to have it all. A loving mother of three and a public-relations executive in Manhattan, she had a handsome and charming partner who was a successful entrepreneur. They jetted off for vacations in the Caribbean and dined in the finest restaurants. But their relationship floundered in one intractable area.
"After a while," Kelly says, "he just stopped wanting to have sex. He'd go months without even touching me."

It's a subject that's full of shame: low sex drive. When your partner has no interest in sex despite your best efforts, it's easy to become perplexed. And without guidance, partners may characterize the problem in ways that can destroy the relationship.

In a society saturated with sexual imagery, it seems strange that some people have no desire for sex. But it is a startlingly common problem. Millions of people suffer from a condition known as hypoactive sexual desire (HSD), about 25 percent of all Americans, by one estimate, or a third of women and a fifth of men. Sex researchers and therapists now recognize it as the most common sexual problem.

In recent years, experts have turned their attention to the causes of HSD, and sex therapists are working on strategies to treat it. Although there is a 50 percent positive outcome in treatment, many of those who have HSD don't seek help. This is usually because they don't realize it's a problem, other issues in the relationship seem more important or they feel ashamed.

Many couples in conflict may have an underlying problem with sexual desire. When desire fades in one partner, other things start to fall apart.
How Little Is Too Little?

For Pam, happily married and in her forties, her once healthy sexual desire simply disappeared about six months ago. "I don't know what has happened to my sexual appetite," she says, "but it is like someone turned it off at the switch." She and her husband still have sex, maybe once every few weeks, but she does it out of obligation, not enthusiasm.

"I used to enjoy sex," Pam says. "Now there's a vital part of me that's missing."

Ordinary people aren't in a constant state of sexual desire. Everyday occurrences "fatigue, job stress, even the common cold" can drive away urges for lovemaking. Usually, however, spending romantic time with a partner, having sexual thoughts or seeing stimulating images can lead to arousal and the return of a healthy sex drive.

Yet for some people, desire never returns, or was never there to begin with. Frequently, even healthy sexual fantasies are virtually nonexistent in some people who suffer from HSD.

Just how little sex is too little? Sometimes, when a partner complains of not having enough sex, his problem may actually be an unusually high sex drive. Experts agree that there is no daily minimum requirement of sexual activity. In a British survey, published in the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy, 24 percent of couples reported having no sex in the previous three months. And the classic study, Sex in America, found that one-third of couples had sex just a few times a year. Although the studies report frequency of sex, not desire, it's likely that one partner in these couples has HSD.
One Tiny Pill

Years ago, another sexual problem "erectile dysfunction" received a sudden burst of attention when a medical "cure" hit the shelves. Before Viagra came along, men with physically based problems suffered impotence in silence, and without much hope. Now many couples enjoy a renewed reservoir of passion.

Obviously, any pill that relieves hypoactive sexual desire would be wildly popular. Unfortunately, the causes of HSD seem to be complex and varied; some sufferers might be treated with a simple pill, but most will likely need therapy—not chemistry.

One common source of reduced desire is the use of antidepressants known as selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors. SSRIs have been found to all but eliminate desire in some patients. Antidepressants such as Prozac and Zoloft are among the most widely prescribed drugs for treating depression. Yet one distressing side effect is a drop in sex drive. Some studies indicate that as many as 50 percent of people on SSRIs suffer from a markedly reduced sex drive.

Researchers believe that SSRIs squash the libido by flooding the bloodstream with serotonin, a chemical that signals satiety. "The more you bathe people in serotonin, the less they need to be sexual," says Joseph Marzucco, MSPAC, a sex therapist practicing in Portland, Oregon. "SSRIs can just devastate sexual desire."

Fortunately, researchers are studying antidepressants that act through other channels. Bupropion hydrochloride, which enhances the brain's production of the neurotransmitters dopamine and norepinephrine, has received extra attention as a substitute for SSRIs. Early studies suggest that it may actually increase sexual desire in test subjects. A study reported last year in the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy found that nearly one-third of participants who took bupropion reported more desire, arousal and fantasy.
It's All In Your Head

Physiological problems can also lead to a loss of sexual desire. Men with abnormal pituitary glands can overproduce the hormone prolactin, which usually turns off the sex drive. As reported in the International Journal of Impotence Research, tests of a drug that blocks prolactin found it increased the libido in healthy males.

In women, some experts believe that one cause of weak sexual desire is, ironically, low testosterone levels. Normally associated with brawny, deep-voiced men, testosterone is a hormone with a definite masculine identity. But women also make small amounts of it in their ovaries, and it plays an important role in their sexual lives. Without a healthy level of testosterone in the blood, some researchers believe, women are unable to properly respond to sexual stimuli. Furthermore, there is anecdotal evidence that testosterone supplements can restore the sex drive in women.

Rosemary Basson, M.D., of the Vancouver Hospital and Health Sciences Center in British Columbia, however, cautions that too little is known about the role testosterone plays in women. "We don't even know how much testosterone is normal," Basson says. "The tests designed for men can't pick up the levels found in women."

In one study suggesting that HSD is more psychological than physiological, Basson and her colleagues tested the effects of Viagra on women who reported arousal problems. Basson found that while the drug generally produced the physical signals of sexual arousal, many women reported that they still didn't feel turned on.

Indeed, many psychologists and sex therapists believe that most patients with HSD have sound bodies and troubled relationships. The clinical experience of Gerald Weeks has shown that two factors identified in a relationship can, over time, devastate the sex drive: chronically suppressed anger toward the partner and a lack, or loss, of control over the relationship. And once these issues threaten a healthy sex drive, lack of intimacy can aggravate the problems further. Without help, these issues can balloon until the relationship itself is seriously damaged. And, consequently, HSD becomes further entrenched.
Lacking The Desire For Desire

Although HSD is one of the most difficult to address of all sexual problems, it can be treated successfully. The key is to find a highly qualified sex and marital therapist who has experience in dealing with it. Unfortunately, while HSD is the most common problem that sex therapists see, millions of cases go untreated.

Some people who lack desire are just too embarrassed to seek help, especially men. Others are so focused on immediate concerns—such as a stressful job or a family crisis, that they put off dealing with the loss of a healthy libido. Still others have become so used to having no sex drive that they no longer miss it; they lack the desire for desire. These people represent the most severe cases, the hardest to treat.

Some people who don't get treatment find ways to adjust. "Thank goodness my husband is so patient and caring," Pam says. "He tries to spark interest, but when it is not ignited he'll settle for cuddling and caressing."

Other relationships can't survive the strain. After a year, Kelly and her boyfriend broke up. "I couldn't convince him that it was a problem," she says, "but it was."

The Government Still Misleads on Condoms

Although research from the University of Washington proved that condoms do reduce the risk of human papilloma virus (HPV) transmission by as much as 70 percent (click here to see the New England Journal of Medicine study), anti-condom political groups and abstinence-only advocates continue to argue that condoms won’t help fight the sexually transmitted disease. And despite Glamour’s report, government websites still misstate facts. The 4parents.gov website, sponsored by the United States Department of Health and Human Services, states that there is “no evidence that condom use reduces risk of HPV infection.” It also minimizes condom effectiveness against the transmission of other STDs.

Women's Health Update

An Emergency Contraception Victory

After a three-year battle, the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) finally approved Plan B, the emergency contraception that can prevent pregnancy if taken within 72 hours of unprotected sex, for over-the-counter sale to women ages 18 and older.

Health experts applauded the FDA ruling, saying it could help reduce the number of unplanned pregnancies and abortions in the United States. But many advocates are still unsatisfied. The FDA imposed a “scientifically baseless restriction” against giving younger women the same OTC access to the drug, says Planned Parenthood president Cecile Richards, noting that there is no evidence that emergency contraception (EC) is unsafe for teens. “Anything that makes it harder for teenagers to avoid unintended pregnancy is bad medicine and bad public policy,” she says. Planned Parenthood and other groups will push for universal OTC access, and the Center for Reproductive Rights intends to continue its lawsuit against the FDA for the “unlawful” and “intricate coverup” the organization alleges took place at the agency during the prolonged Plan B review process. But the news is largely good for women: The manufacturer hopes to have Plan B on store shelves by the end of this year.

Pharmacists May Refuse to Fill Birth Control Prescriptions

Women under age 18 will still need a prescription from a doctor to get Plan B, and even then some may not be able to get the drug. Why? Arkansas, Georgia, Mississippi and South Dakota have passed laws that allow pharmacists to refuse to fill prescriptions for EC or even traditional birth control pills. Legislators in other states, however, are fighting the “conscience clause” movement. In May, Nevada joined California, Illinois, Maine and Massachusetts in enacting laws or policies that require pharmacy employees to fill any legal prescription. (A similar federal law, the Access to Legal Pharmaceuticals Act, is languishing in Congress.)

Perhaps most horrifying, rape victims still may not have easy access to EC. The Department of Justice has yet to revise its rape treatment guidelines to reflect the medical consensus that all victims of sexual assault should be offered EC in the hospital. The result: Traumatized women will have to search on their own for a pharmacy that stocks the medication.

Medical Breakthrough: The HPV Vaccine

Even though some conservatives voiced objections about the vaccine that protects against HPV (the STD that can cause cervical cancer), the FDA relied on overwhelming scientific evidence when it approved Gardasil on June 8. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention later recommended that young women ages 9 to 26 get the vaccine, and experts say the three-shot series could save thousands of lives. (See Glamour’s November issue for info on whether you should get the HPV vaccine.)

A Continued Push for Abstinence-Only Sex Education

As in past years, the federal government will spend an estimated $50 million in 2006 to finance abstinence-only sex education, despite the fact that experts say such programs can lead to higher rates of teen pregnancy and STD transmission. Meanwhile legislators who have pushed for more comprehensive sex ed have faced a severe backlash. When New Mexico’s state health secretary, Michelle Lujan Grisham, tried to restrict abstinence-only sex ed to children in lower grades while teaching complete sex ed courses, including contraception, to older students, the federal government threatened to strip the state of federal funding.

More Lies About Abortion and Breast Cancer

Despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary, abortion foes are still insisting that abortion causes breast cancer. This summer a congressional report requested by Rep. Henry Waxman (D-Calif.) found that federally funded “pregnancy resource centers” gave women completely false information that abortion can raise the risk of breast cancer. (Read a report from Rep. Waxman here.) In fact, according to groups including the American Cancer Society, the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists and the World Health Organization, there is no link between abortion and breast cancer.